Third one-shot today!! lol Song credit to Vanessa Hudgens, "Afraid" one of my very favorite songs =)
Just When It’s Getting Good
I Slowly Start To Freeze
Just When It’s Feeling Real
I Put My Heart to Sleep
It’s The Memory I Can See
Then This Fear Comes Over Me
Understand That I Don’t Mean
To Push You Away From Me
“Why?” Nick asked me. “I’m sorry, I just, I can’t” I cried. Tears streamed down my face. “I’m sorry” were the last words I said as I ran away from him. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know if he was following me. I didn’t know what was happening. I just ran, rain hitting my face. People moved out of my way as I ran down the street. I didn’t stop for anyone or anything, and I didn’t dare look back, fearing it’d cause too much pain. It had caused too much pain. Everything had. Being with him, seeing him. I loved him too much. He loved me too much. I couldn’t be with him anymore, for my own health. I was starting to go crazy. I needed new people. I needed my own family. I needed my old friends. I needed a break from the cameras and the lights. Being Nick Jonas’s girlfriend I even needed a break from. The rumors about me, all not true, and all mean, cruel things. People hating me just because the one man that loved me was Nick Jonas. I couldn’t do this anymore. I was scared. I was afraid.
Why Am I So Afraid
To Crash Down And Lose My Heart Again
I Don’t Know
Can’t See
What’s Come Over Me
Why Am I So Afraid
To Break Down And Lose My Mind Again
I Don’t Know
Can’t See
What’s Come Over Me
Nick and I had only been dating 3 months, and he’d already declared his love for me to me, his family, his friends, the fans, and the press. He was serious about me. It was happening way too fast. I couldn’t move this fast. I liked to take things slow in a relationship, no matter how quickly I felt what I did.
“STACEY!! STACEY WAIT!!” Nick yelled. I knew he was chasing after me. More tears poured down my face. I splashed through puddles, getting my jeans even wetter. “STACEY!” He yelled again. I didn’t stop. I kept running.
Why was I running from love? That’s the question I asked myself, and kept coming back to one answer. The only other guy I’d ever loved broke my heart. It took months to recover. I’d told him everything about me, and he’d done the same. Then, he goes and breaks my heart. We were even engaged. He just came and told me he didn’t love me one day, and it hurt so bad. I didn’t want it to happen again.
I know Nick would never do that to me, and I kept telling myself that. But something in my heart still told me other wise. It was a fear of being broken again. Of being hurt. That couldn’t happen to me again. I seriously couldn’t handle it.
You Got A Way Of Easing Me Out Of Myself
I Can’t Stay
But I can’t Leave
I Am My Worst Enemy
Please Understand
That it’s Not You It’s What I Do
Just When I’m About To Run
I Realize What I’ve Become
I ran until I couldn’t anymore. I collapsed into a chair in StarBucks, soaked. I didn’t see Nick outside the window. He’d stop following me. I felt empty without him. I know that I shouldn’t have run. But I had to. He was going to ask me to marry him any day now. I couldn’t have that so fast. My heart still wasn’t mended entirely. It wasn’t him, it was me. He’d done nothing but love me, and I wouldn’t let him. What was wrong with me? I was pushing away the guy I loved.
The rain had let up, and I decided to go back to our hotel to get my stuff. I walked into our hotel, still soaked.
I pressed the elevator button, and stepped inside. “Stacey” I heard Nick’s voice behind me. Nick stepped into the elevator too, and he was also soaked. He closed the door of it, and we road up to the top floor together in silence.
“I ran after you” he said. “I know” I said. “Why didn’t you stop” he asked. “I couldn’t” I replied. “Why not?” he asked. “Because I’m afraid Nick. I’m scared. I’ve been hurt horribly before, and I can’t let that happen again” I felt tears start to stream down my face again. Nick pulled me into his arms. “I’d never hurt you” he said. “I know, but I can’t convince myself of that” I cried. “Sshh. It’s ok” he told me. “I do love you though” I said. “I love you more than anyone” he told me.
Why Am I So Afraid
To Crash Down And Lose My Heart Again
I Don’t Know
Can’t See
What’s Come Over Me
Why Am I So Afraid
To Break Down And Lose My Mind Again
I Don’t Know
Can’t See
What’s Come Over Me
“Are you mad at me?” I asked back in our hotel room. “Of course not” he said pulling off his shirt. “How could I be?” he asked kissing me. I shrugged. “I don’t know” I mumbled. “I understand. I’ve been hurt before too. And I probably shouldn’t have moved to fast” Nick told me, pulling on a sweatshirt. “No you shouldn’t have” I burst into tears again as he pulled me back into his warm hugs. “It’s ok baby. It’s ok” he comforted me. “How about if you get in your pajamas? Get comfy and out of these clothes” he told me. I nodded and grabbed my PJs. I was ready for bed. It’d been along day, and I was glad he wasn’t mad at me. I was glad he still loved me too.
Now I Wonder What You Think Of Me
Don’t Know Why I Break So Easily
All My Fears Are Armed Surrounding Me
I Can’t Get No Sleep
I Keep Runnin’ In Circles Around You
Are You The Trap I Want To Fall Into?
I woke up the next day, and Nick had his arms wrapped around me. I wasn’t sure if he was aware of this, because he was sound asleep. I touched his face, and played with his hair.
Nick woke up about fifteen minutes later. “Morning” I said. “Morning” I sleepy rockstar said. “Sleep good?” I asked. “Yes” he said, and kissed me lightly. “I love you” he said. “I love you too” I replied. “Are you still afraid?” Nick asked me. “Yes. But not as much now. I know that you’d never hurt me like I was before” I said. “You’ve got that right” He said.
Why Am I So Afraid
To Crash Down And Lose My Heart Again
I Don’t Know
Can’t See
What’s Come Over Me
Why Am I So Afraid
To Break Down And Lose My Mind Again
I Don’t Know
Can’t See
What’s Come Over Me
~2 weeks later~
Tonight was New Year’s Eve, and Nick and his bros were invited to perform at the countdown in New York City. Nick had been acting weird all day, and he wouldn’t tell me why.
The boys did a terrific job performing, and soon it’d be time for the countdown to the New Year. Nick demanded that I stood with them and Ryan Seacrest to countdown. I finally agreed to, no matter how nervous I was.
“Now, we have the Jonas Brothers here tonight, and Nick’s girlfriend Stacey” Ryan said. “Yep” Joe said. “And I believe Nick had something that he wanted to say” Ryan said. Nick nodded, and I was totally lost.
I felt all eyes turn to us, and I knew the cameras were watching. Nick turned to face me and grabbed my hands.
“Stacey, you know you mean the world to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re amazing, beautiful, and the love of my life. I just wouldn’t be complete without you.” Nick started to say, looking into my brown eyes. “And I know that I’m forgetting everything I’d practiced, and there’s so much more that I want to say, but…” he said, and pulled something sparkly out of his pocket. Nick got down on one knee and took my hand. “I guess what I’m really just trying to say is, I love you, Stacey, and I want to be with you forever. I promise never to hurt you. Will you marry me?” he asked me. I knew tears were falling from my eyes. “Yes” I finally said. A smile creped up Nick’s face, and Joe, Nick, and Ryan clapped for us. Nick slipped the ring onto my finger and pulled me into a kiss.
I was going to get married, and I knew this time, it was going to be for real.
~Song Credit To Vanessa Hudgens, “Afraid”
