Chapter 4
Rachel won’t tell you a lie.
Watching how my ex bent down by the youngsters, he turned to the shaggy haired Wyatt who had his little hands gripped around the wiffle ball bat, angling it over his scrawny shoulder whilst Joe took a few steps back, holding a tennis ball up in the air. “Ready buddy?” He piped up, catching Wyatt’s attention as his big blue eyes focused on Joe. My ex’s lips were slightly curved in a meek smile as he tossed the ball towards him. Wyatt swung the bat towards the ball, yet miserably failed hitting it.
“Whooh! Go get ‘em Wyatt!” I encouraged clapping my hands together. Wyatt shot me a glance, with a silly smile etched on his face and shyly nodded his head, turning his focus back to Joe who handed the ball over to ‘the Bonus Jonas’. Little Frankie’s hand was clamped around the tennis ball, tossing it back over to Wyatt. And just like that the boys continued to toss the ball around back forth, neither one of them really succeeding in actually hitting the tennis ball, but hey they were just kids.
And oh I am sure Joe thought I was buying his whole act, how he was vigilantly observing the kids and actually thinking about what they were doing wrong and right, but his ‘subtle’ glances were as see through as thin glass. Does he need someone to scream this from the rooftops? No, all he needed was me catching one of his sickening stares. To think at some point in my life, I would’ve killed for him to look at me like that. My eyes remained focused on his eyes. And there it was, his eyes slowly looked up meeting mine. I saw the shock run through him, as his eyes quickly turned away, back to the youngsters practicing around with the bat and ball. Swapping the bat and the ball around on the occasion, it looked like they were having a blast.
I quietly scoffed to myself, turning my back on him as I walked over to Wyatt, who now was in charge pitching the ball. I squatted down with a grin, whispering something in his ear. Just a little pointer, I used to be a mean player on my school’s baseball team. “Alright little man. Go for it.” I heartened, giving my little brother a small pat on his shoulder taking a spot next to Joe.
Inside I could see my alter ego laughing uncontrollably, seeing how Joe instantly tensed up by my close presence. Oh, did I make him feel uncomfortable? Deal with it Jonas. Deal with it, I did. We both watched our younger brothers play ball, I popped in an earbud of my iPod, carelessly bopping my head along with the hard punk tune blasting out. Looking down at my iPod I read: “Predictable by Good Charlotte”.
Fate or just pure coincidence? You decide, somehow it was like the past was coming back to haunt me today. I recall listening to this song non-stop before gathering the courage to walk up to Joe and say exactly what was on my mind and eventually, break it off.
Sunken back in the couch, there I sat with my earbuds plugged in my ears. These last few days were a living hell. Knowing I wasn’t good enough, it wasn’t as if I didn’t feel good enough for him already. Recent events and revealed secrets just made the situation ten times worse.
I heard a dramatic tune of harmonize throughout my earbuds, it was the song I’ve had on repeat for the past couple of hours. “Something isn’t right, I can feel it again, feel it again. This isn’t the first time you left me waiting. Sad excuses and false hopes high. I saw this coming; still I don’t know why I let you in.” I sighed; sometimes songs just perfectly portrayed ones thoughts and emotions. It was bizarre; it made you want to listen to the song more and more.
There he walked in, his strut flawless as his hair flipped to the side when he sat across from me on the opposite couch. Before I never thought anything of this, but things just became so clear to me now. It was like this huge puzzle piece has been missing all this time. And now it had fallen in place, all the small things started to make sense.
Why he actually never sat next to me, why he stubbornly kissed me whenever anyone made a frustrating remark on the fact we never really kissed. The fact that he usually had to ‘make a quick call’ and was gone for over an hour or so, why didn’t I ever notice this? He didn’t even know, I was onto him, but now I do he was just far too predictable.
Never twitched an eye, never really thought about it much. I thought Joe and I were all good, but I couldn’t be more wrong. I watched him text on his cell phone, smiling as his cell vibrated meaning he received another text.
“Who are you texting?” I suddenly asked, Joe looked up, tension barely noticeable on his face, but it was there. “Nobody, just a friend.” He replied with a small awkward smile, turning his eyes back to the little screen. Liar.
Was I so blinded? How could I ever be so stupid, foolish. Well I guess there are more fools like me, we just love blindly.
Carelessly I smiled at him, he didn’t deserve it. He deserved my uttermost wrath, but no. I wanted to make him fall for me, I wish he could smile the way he did when this girl texted him. Did I even ever make him smile? I sunk further back while pondering over these thoughts. Maybe I was just better off without him.
Snapping back to reality I looked over at Joe who literally made a jump in the air when little Frankie managed to hit the tennis ball. “Alright! You’re the man!” Joe exclaimed as he cheered bending down giving his little bro a high five. “Nice pitch Wyatt.” He quickly added turning to the youngest sibling I had, who had the dorkiest grin plastered on his face.
You try to stop it now Jonas, but it’s already too late.
--
So you don’t have to call or say anything at all. You’re so predictable.
--
I know this was all mainly things that Rachel was thinking, but I really am trying to just portray where all these negative feelings towards her ex come from. This was quite crappy, I admit. Don't snap my neck, please? (:
Peace and love;
Loes.
