I’ve been having a hard time writing updates for my fics, but when I heard this song tonight, I suddenly had an idea. I hope you like it. I had a bunch of movies and books as inspiration for this. So if some of it seems vaguely familiar, I’m sorry, I tried to tweak it though. Anyway, yeah, let me know what you think.
Here's a youtube link to the song if you want to play it while reading (LOL but there weren't a lot of videos in youtube to choose from haha) www.youtube.com/watch
If God Made You
Five for Fighting
Hey Kid… Your time has come to change
Though I need you more than I’ve needed anyone in any way tonight
Hey Kid… I know it won’t be long
The Captain’s calling…come to see you back where we belong
“I’m scared” she said as she gripped my hand tightly.
I sighed as I ran my thumb along the back of her hand and kissed her forehead.
I didn’t know what to say.
-flashback-
“I’m sorry, but the cancer has not regressed” the doctor said with a heavy sigh.
“The… The chemo didn’t work?” she managed to choke out as I held one of her hands in mine and her mom held on to the other.
“I’m sorry. When we started on chemo, you were already on Stage 3. We were hoping to still get to the tumor, but it had progressed rapidly”
We all fell silent as the doctor apologized again.
“How long doc?” she bravely asked, squeezing my hand.
“Three months”
-end of flashback-
How do I stay strong for someone who has always been the stronger one?
She was two years younger than me, but she had always been the one who kept my feet on the ground, she was the one who kept me sane when my world changed drastically. And now that hers is changing… ending… How do I stay strong for her?
Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there’s somewhere better than this…
It pains me so much to see her this way. No one should go through this, watching the love of their life, their soul mate, going through so much pain and just waiting for… that time to come.
In the past months, after she decided to just stay at home instead of wasting her time away in the hospital, all our time spent together has been in the solace of her room. Her body didn’t have enough strength even to go to their front porch. She was so thin, her skin so pale you could see her veins. She was always tired, and I knew that whenever I was around, she would pretend that she wasn’t, but she would always end up falling asleep while we were reading a book, while watching a movie, or when I would sing to her.
I can’t even imagine how my life would be when she’s gone.
It makes me so angry and so helpless that I would have to watch the love of my life like this.
But I know, that when she leaves, she’ll be in a much better place.
But, it still pains me.
Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can’t say what I might believe
But if God made you he’s in love with me
“Why me?” she asked with tears in her eyes as she rested her head on my shoulder.
I pulled her close, not knowing what to say, as we both watched the sunset from her balcony.
She was so frail and weak, but she requested that we see the sunset, seeing that it might be one of her last.
“Is He punishing me?” she sobbed into my chest.
“Don’t say that” I told her as I lifted her chin with my finger and had her look me in the eyes. Her eyes were bloodshot from all that crying and her breathing was heavy.
“But… So… Why?” she sighed.
“I… I don’t know. Maybe He feels that you’ve accomplished your mission here”
“Yeah, which is to have my parents spend so much on medical bills, to take you away from your family and your career… Your life… Everything you love, just… just to watch me die” she said, tears falling from her eyes.
“No… You’re the greatest gift that God has given me. God must love me so much that he gave me you, even for such a short time. Please, please don’t think He’s punishing you. You, you are my life. And even if our time to be together, physically, is running out, you will always be here.” I told her as I took her hand and placed it above my heart.
“I… I’ll miss you so much” she whispered as she cried.
“I’ll miss you too” I said as I pulled her closer and ran my hand along her back to make her stop crying.
“I love you”
“I love you too”
Hey Kid…Do wishes count at all
Can you give me a sign…give me anything I won’t tell a soul you told
Hey Kid…Will you hold me when I sleep
Will you find me when the tide decides that I got to leave
“I miss you” I whispered as I laid my hand on the glass above your body. You look so peaceful and happy.
“How is it up there? Is it all we thought it would be? Clouds all around? Angels and harps? I bet you’re an angel now” I said, speaking to you as if it was only that glass and casket that was separating us.
“I’m going to miss you so much” I said, letting the tears flow from my eyes.
“I know you’ll watch over me, and you’ll wait for me”
I suddenly felt someone’s arm around me and saw your dad crying beside me. Your mom stood beside him as all three of us looked at you, not saying anything as tears flowed from all our eyes.
Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there’s somewhere better than this…
“It’s time” your dad finally spoke.
I nodded as I looked at you one last time before they closed the casket.
Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can’t say what I might believe
But if God made you he’s in love with me
