"just one of the guys" " just friends" "buddy" "pal" "dude"
those are the words that haunt me in my sleep.
you see i've been in love with this boy since the day i met him in pre-k. but he'd never know that. i'll guess i'll be forever known as "one of the guys"
my names autumn marie jones, but everyone calls me auto. i know what your thinking "auto? what kind of nickname is that?" well its a nickname i got from nick when he was 5.
he told me that my name should be auto since autumn is a girlie name. and so i've been stuck with that name ever since.
and so for the past 10 years i've been known as "auto" the tomboy.. if you haven't guessed by now i'm 19. and still a bit of a tomboy. i want to break away from this and show everyone that i can be girlie.
i mean its not my fault i'm not so girlie. my mother died when i was really young and i was raised by my father. and i never had any girl friends since the jonas boys became my friends. i was always too busy hanging with them to even think about making other friends.
growing up with the jonas boys was a dream come true. we're all so close and we always have a good time together. but now that we're older i'm the one that sits around as they talk about their datings problems and girls they like.
but i take it. i just sit there silently crying, wishing someday he'd see me as girlfriend material. i mean so i dress like a boy a little and my hair is usually a mess and i don't wear make-up.. okay so i can see why he doesn't see me as more then a friend.
its a beautiful rainy day outside. i grabbed a jacket and decided to take a walk. who needs an umbrella? i mean the way the rain feels as it softly falls down on me is the best feeling. and when your in the rain no one can see you cry.
and so if i stand out here heart broken and in love with a boy who will never see me as more then a friend. i can cry as much as i want and no one will notice me. just like the boy i'm in love with.
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...
But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me
i wish he knew how much i love him. and that my whole heart belongs to him.but he won't and i don't think theres anything i can do to change his mind. the last thing i want to do is break down in front of him.
you won't see me break Won't make that mistake Oh no I'll just walk away There's too much at stake right now I go on and on Singing this song about you And that's what's wrong with this song
Can you feel it? In the way I look at you Boy, can you hear it? I'm crying out inside I don't want to see you Be near you You're a million miles too close
You don't know the way I feel So I'll stay alone.
but what if i could change his mind?.. what if i could get him to notice me?..
