Ch. 1---it starts kind of in the middle of everything, but more will become clear as it goes on. =) thanks for reading.

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"Camilla!"

"NO!"

"Where are you going?"

"AWAY FROM YOU!"

"I'm sorry, honey, I really am."

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME!"

"Don't leave me, sweetie, you're just a kid. You still need your mother."

That was the final straw. I went back inside, where she was standing.

I looked her dead in the eye and almost whispered, "You think I need you?" My voice got louder. "You really think that?! I never needed you. You've done nothing but disappoint me." I ran out of the house, yelling, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS NEEDED ME!"

I didn't hear her response, if she had any. 

To say my mom and I don't get along would be a severe understatement. It seemed impossible for us to be on the same wavelength.

It all started when I was about 10 years old. When I'd tell her to stop drinking so much, she'd just shoo me away, sometimes violently, depending on how drunk she was. I'd run to my room crying, and she'd always come in later and tell me she was sorry. She brush my hair away from my face and kiss me on the cheek, her breath reeking of beer.

When I finally made some friends in junior high, she was known as the mean, drunk mom. She wouldn't let me go hang out with the few friends I managed to hold on to, which resulted in me losing all of them.

In 9th grade, I saw her smoking pot for the first time. By that point, I knew what it was. I screamed and ran. I ran over to the Jonas house.

Joe Jonas was my best friend. He was the only one who stuck by me through everything, and the only one who really knew about my mom. We'd whisper on the phone late at night, so our mothers wouldn't hear us, and he'd comfort me after my mom hit me or yelled at me in a drunken rage. More than once I'd end up in his backyard, with us just sitting under the stars, the only time I ever felt fully comfortable.

That's exactly where I was headed now.

From talking to him on the phone this morning, I learned that his whole family had gone out, but he wanted to stay home.

He was on the porch swing, as if he was expecting me. He looked over and saw me running, silent tears already streaming down my cheeks.

I slowed down. He got up, and I ran into his strong,  open arms. I was sobbing now, and he held me close.

When I could finally speak, I whispered, "She did it again."

"Shhhh," he said soothingly. He looked down at me and wiped my cheeks gently. He smiled sweetly. "Everything's going to be okay."

I took a deep breath. He led me to the porch swing, and we sat down. He put his arm around me like a brother would, and I leaned on his shoulder. We just sat there for a second, then he looked down at me expectantly.

I sat up a little. "It's just like last time," I said. I felt more tears building up.

He knew that I couldn't really talk right now, so he just held me and softly sang.

You know when the sun forgets to shine, I'll be there to hold you through the night, we'll be running so fast we can fly, tonight....

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tell me what you think!

thank u so much! here's part 2

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A sudden ringing interrupted that beautiful moment.

“Sorry,” Joe mumbled. I sat up, his warmth quickly evaporating from my bare arms. He dug around in his pocket for his cell phone. He looked at the caller ID, sighed, and answered it.

this is ah-mazing

post more soon

part 3-thanks for reading

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We walked in silence across his yard and up to my back door.

“Are you okay?” He asked from the bottom of the porch steps.

“Yeah. Thanks Joe,” I said, smiling weakly and opening the door.

“Anytime. Call if you need something.”

“I will,” I replied, going inside.

I looked out the window, and one thought rolled through my head.

“Mom?” I called out. No answer.

I went into the living room, where I often found her watching cheesy soap operas with a box of Kleenex. “Hello?”

Nothing.

I tiptoed into her bedroom. She was on the floor.

At first I didn’t register what was going on. I saw a note on her bed.

Camilla-

You were right. I’ve been nothing but a disappointment all your life. You deserve better.

Go find it.

Love always, Mommy.

No.

aww thats so cute!!

pms!!