My car has never been the best, it tends to back up when I want it to go forward, never does my radio turn on, and never does my airbag indicator say that its on. I never really cared, I just needed a vehicle to drive me to work and in and around our town, Chicago.
I never dreamed what would happen, what would change my life forever.
I was driving, as usual, hastily and uncautiously to my job. I worked the 2 - closing shift at the local Sprint store, and I was running late, running a few recently manicured nails through my hair as I sighed loudly and ran through a red light. I was uncannily good at doing that, I won't lie. The clock in my car was ticking, slowly at first, but then it consumed my eardrum. I wanted to scream. I turned a corner and barely missed the curb by inches, spotting another jammed intersection. Oh, how I detested traffic. I pulled down the mirror and studied my face, noticing how dull my blonde hair seemed to look in the gloomy and dull lighting, how short and stubby my eyelashes looked, and how muddy green my eyes looked. As I inspected a stray hair escaping my perfectly coiffed straight and down 'do, the earth seemed to stop.
I heard screaming, and a screeching of metal. I heard a groan of a dying engine, a deep smell of gasoline and flames. And then, I was out. Cold.
"Wow, my nails weren't black when I got them done yesterday," I heard myself saying, sitting up groggily.
I looked around - and I bit back a shrill and earth-shattering scream. I was lying in a damp and green field, with trees all around me, and then - BAM!
A tour bus.
A big, black tour bus.
However, it was torn up, and looked as if it had been demolished by a monster truck, but even through the serious injury, I still saw the gleaming crest of, I believe, the Jonas Brothers.
I'd never been a huge fan, only heard of them briefly. I thought they were cute, sure - but I wasn't a die hard fan of music, I just did my own thing. I figured why depend on something someone else writes and sings for you, when you really should just depend on yourself? I was deeply independent, and now that I look back on it, I'm quite ashamed.
"Is she alive?"
"Of course she's alive, idiot, she's sitting up and talking to herself!"
"Dead people can sometimes die and still talk, ri -"
"Shut up, I think she can hear us!"
I saw two heads full of thick brown hair peek out from behind the tour bus, and then saw approaching bodies, but I was still too loopy to really focus.
"Are you - Oh my god, she's bleeding."
I touched my head gingerly, and felt the warm flood of blood wash over my hand. I smiled loosely and stood up, but my knees crumpled and I fell, expecting to hit the ground - but wait, I didn't, something strong and muscular caught me gently and held me there for a second, and I stared into the savior's eyes, and saw the deep brown color, and closed my own. I reopened them and then ran a dry tongue over my lips and stayed silent as who I recognized as Joe Jonas lowered me to the ground.
"Hey, I'm Joe," he said softly, and looked oddly concerned. Then I remembered - I was probably terrible looking, and I examined myself. I had a long rip in my jeans, and a few buttons on my blouse were undone and, upon furthur examination, gone. I lay there, limp and covered in ash. Another brother came over, standing over me, his eyebrows raised.
"I'm Nick, and your -?"
"Lindsey, Lindsey Smithson," I whispered, my eyes closing briefly again. I kept hearing screaming, and feeling flashes of sharp pain. I realized Joe was holding a wet cloth to my head, and I remembered with a jolt he was still holding me, kneeled on the ground with me in his arms. I took a sharp intake of breath, but blew it off. I was falling for someone I used to not even care about - yeah, right.
"Are you, are you sure your okay?" Nick said, kneeling beside me, trying to lift the cloth, but Joe slapped his hand back.
"Dude, shes bleeding, give me a break here, okay?"
"Okay, sorry. Where's Kev -"
"Joe, I can't find her car." Kevin Jonas walked hurriedly over to our tight huddle, also kneeling and eyes searching. "I walked over the whole premisis - I even looked on the road. It's gone, apparently. The road is just beyond those trees, apparently we went through them or something." I sat up suddenly, noticing he was bleeding over his eyebrow.
"Your hurt!" I stretched out a finger and swiped away the blood, but it was dry, and Joe pushed me back down gently.
"Calm down, you'll hurt yourself," he whispered softly, reapplying the cloth. I saw the red tinge and grimaced slightly, and I felt a salty tear slide down my face. Nick brushed it off, grinning slightly. My heart beat faster, and I kept slipping in and out of the conversation, and my breathing grew more ragged.
"So what are we going to do?" Nick asked, not accusatory, just scaredly.
"Well, our concert -"
"Kevin, do you see this? Do you see what has happened? Do you see how bad shes hurt, do you see the bus? Do you understand how bad this is? I know you want to play in front of those girls or whatever, but I thought you cared more about people than your career!" Joe was staring so darkly at Kevin, Kevin flinched slightly.
"I was going to say, Joe, that seeing as the hospital is up near our concert arena, we could carry her there."
"Oh."
"Why can't we drive - Oh, just kidding."
"Nick, just shut up." Nick grinned sweetly.
"Shes light, so I don't think it will be a problem," Joe replied to the idea, standing up. My eyes focused as I too was lifted from the ground, and he positioned my arm around his neck, and tilted me towards him. He smelled so good, even with the bitter fragrance of ash surrounding us. He was right - I was light, just at 92 pounds. I was five foot four, and slender. I looked back slightly and saw Nick and Kevin directly behind us, following Joe's lead. I almost laughed. Joe was the leader, apparently.
I wanted to ask so much, like how far the hospital was, and how long till their concert, and if I could somehow get in and see them perform, because I just knew if they left me I would die. Correction - if Joe left me, I would die. I'd never trusted someone this much - he was practically saving me. I wasn't dead, and I just knew it was because of him. I couldn't explain why. I knew I didn't want to like him - I didn't even particuarly like the band. But as a person, I was so attracted.
We trekked through the forest, and every now and then saw a road, and we crossed it, attracting many stares, but no screams. I was thoroughly surprised - I knew I wasn't in love with them before, but did they not have one fan that would scream if they saw them walking across an interstate.
Then I looked into Joe's face, and at his clothes, and he didn't look like Joe Jonas anymore, just some extremely hott guy in ripped skinny jeans. His hair was swishing a different way, his eyes weren't twinkling but were set, ready, focused. And all this suited him, and made him look even more godly, even more perfect.
I bet him carrying me was a sight for sore eyes.
I could feel my strength returning, but I couldn't tell Joe that - I wanted him to carry me, because it meant he wouldn't be able to leave me. I was so scared for the hospital - what if they just dropped me off and went on to their concert? What if -
"That scar on your heads not bleeding anymore, is it?"
"Wha - What?" Joe had interuppted my "what ifs."
"That scar, the one from the - well, its not bleeding anymore, right?" I gingerly felt my head, and inspected my hand. No trace of blood.
"No, thank you so much, you have no idea," I breathed.
"What was I going to do, leave some pretty girl stranded, dying?" He winked at me, and I would've fainted if he hadn't been holding me so tightly.
"I - pretty?" I was sure I looked repulsed.
"Of course. Your so, I don't know, different. Even though you've barely spoken, your not fawning all over us. I think thats what makes you pretty - your not obsessed or anything."
Obviously he wasn't registering with my eleven million glances at him.
"Well, I'd never been about music, I guess. I just kind of am what I am, I don't really depend on it - "
"Depend on it? Never. But everyone needs music, it can -"
"Help you, I know, I've heard it a million times. But I, I just can't see how. Why should I listen to something someone else has made for me? Why can't I just be independent? Why does it matter if I listen to music?" I said this super gently, not wanting to offend him.
"Its not supposed to make you feel dependent, or as if your not strong enough to do things yourself. It's supposed to increase that, help you find the light in every situation. Its not a bad tool, its a great one. How do you think some abused kids or some depressed people get along? Music.It releases them, sort of. Kind of makes them forget, I guess."
I stared, registering with this. He was right. "I never thought about it like that. I just always thought, hey, music will make me feel worse about myself because I can't sing, I can't dance -"
"Anyone can sing, anyone can dance. Its whether or not you do it well - like, take Kevin for instance. He can't dance. He looks like an idiot trying. But he does it anyway."
"I can't do it well, I promise you."
"Sing something, I'll sing with you." I gasped. He laughed. "Do you know any of our songs?" I thought for a moment, and then nodded.
"I only know Please Be Mine, because one of my best friends was in love with that song last year." He cleared his throat, and began to sing.
"They come and go, but they don't know, that you are my, beautiful," he stared at me so gently I thought I was going to break in his arms. "I try to come, closer with you, but they all say we won't make it through."
"But I'll be there forever, you will see that it's better," I broke off suddenly, because Joe was staring at me, mouth wide open, eyes unblinking.
"Your amazing." I cleared my throat again and continued.
"All out hopes and our dreams, will come true. I will not disappoint you, I will be right there for you, till the end , the end of time, please be mine." I was shaking badly, nervous.
"You have, an amazing voice. Kevin, did you hear that? Nick?" Joe looked back, and his brothers stopped whispering and nodded.
"You were great, Lindsey," Kevin said, smiling.
"Yeah, awesome," Nick said too. I grinned, but my heart broke. I hated it, I hated the feeling when I sung, I was so afraid of messing up. I confided this to Joe.
"Sing again. Don't hold back. Then tell me how you feel."
I broke into the chorus again, and belted it out as loud as possible, attracting stares from cars we were passing as we walked through a parking lot. But this time, I didn't care. At all. It was so freeing, like I was a butterfly, strectching my cramped wings that had been hidden for so long, afraid of other butterflies with prettier wings. But my voice shone, I could hear it. I felt the wind hit me, and turned it into sound energy, used it to my advantage. I let the feeling ripple throughout me, and delved deep within myself and plundered all my pride and just sang, for the moment, for myself. After I finished, I shook slightly, from all the excitement.
They stared at me, as if they had been hit by a tornado.
"Oh my god," Nick whispered. "She's great."
"She's got to - Nick, tell Joe what I told you earlier."
Nick whispered into Joe's ear something, so softly that I couldn't hear. Joe looked apprehensive, but then stared down at me.
"Are you fine?"
I started at him. "Never, ever been better."
He smiled and said, softly back to Nick, "Yes."
We continued to walk, and I asked Joe to let me down, longing to walk now, to run, to skip. He did so, gently, and I smiled as soon as my feet touched the damp grass. I flipped open my unharmed cellphone, and noticed it was 4:52. I turned to Joe.
"What time is your show?"
"6. We'll be there in time. Listen - I want to ask you something."
I nodded, insinuating he could.
"Do you want to come to the concert?"
I laughed. "Of course!"
"Will you come backstage with me, and take a song lyric packet, and do me a favor?"
I raised an eyebrow playfully. "Whats the favor?"
"That, I can't tell you, yet. But will you do it?" he looked so anxious, so afraid I would decline.
"Yes," I answered, firmly. He smiled.
"Great."
We got to the arena at 5:15, and went in a side door that apparently the brothers knew. We hustled up a few flights of metal stairs that creaked and made banging noises as we pounded up them. Kevin wrenched open the door, and sank onto a couch. A burly black man stared at me, starting suddenly. Joe shook his head, and grabbed my hand. The man smiled slightly, and sat back down.
"Oh my god, where have you boys been? I saw, on the news -" a harrassed looking woman came in, tears flowing freely down her face.
"We're fine, Mom. Really. We walked here, its fine."
"Who are you?" the woman asked, kindly yet hurriedly.
"I'm Lindsey, I got hit too -"
"Oh, dear God. Well, I'm so sorry, honey. I know this whole thing has been taxing, on all of us, but your going to have to leave, call your mother, here's my phone, go ahead - "
"No, Mom. Shes staying." Joe sounded so stubborn, I almost wanted to flinch. He bent down and riffled through some papers before handing me one, and said, "Come here - Kevin, Nick! She's going to learn these."
I looked puzzled, but waved at their mother and followed Joe into a smaller room with two couches and a few picture on the wall. Kevin and Nick sat down on a couch opposite Joe and I.
"Nick, start with SOS. Lindsey, your singing with me, okay? So sing with me, but sing at your regular level, don't dip low with me if I do, because thats when I'm going for harmony, okay?"
I nodded. Nick started playing, then Kevin, and then I heard Nick's voice, and listened to Joe sing the chorus once, then chimed in the the second time. They smiled when I sang, and I felt the flowy, fluid feeling again. We went through the whole packet, and I picked the songs up easily and hastily, and then I heard yelling and a loud knock on the door.
"Boys, its time!" a harried voice bellowed. Joe and Nick and Kevin all stood up, stretched a little, and then Joe turned to me and grabbed my hand.
"Come with me, Lindsey." he pulled me up and we walked past all the rooms, and with the burly man, to a new area of the arena - and then it hit me. This was backstage. I heard yelling, and people singing and sobbing and an overwhelming potluck of different pitched screams. I took a deep breath, as someone announced something and the crowd went wild.
"Lindsey, you know all those songs, right?" Joe was breathing heavily, and I nodded, scared.
"Will you sing with me tonight, Lindsey? In front of all these people?"
I could have fainted on the spot. I took a deep breath, and I said, voice cracking slightly, "Yes, Joe."
His taut face broke into a joyous smile, and he grabbed my hand, and we stepped onto the stage, and I was overblown with screams and yells and people throwing themselves at the stage. Joe turned on his microphone, and pulled me with him to the center of the stage.
"How many of you here tonight saw the news?" He was greeted with stupendous yelling. "Well, I didn't. But I know that today, my life changed. Not in the way you think - sure, the crash was scary, and I felt as if I was going to die, but praying saved us. You know how I was changed? By a person. Someone who was injured but fought through it. Someone who was so in doubt before, seemed so unsure, but changed and let herself fly free today. Someone who made me realize that all we need in life is an escape - a place to go when everything is lost and nothing is right. If you've never sang before in this audience, tonight I want you to forget that and become a singer. Become free. Sing with no regrets, sing with passion and hope. Sing with all you've got. Because I want EVERYONE, not just the people in this building, to hear us tonight, allright? I want everyone in the city to hear us, because when eveyone joins together, when everyone realizes there is hope, when everyone realizes life can always turn out, it seems eveything is better, clearer, more whole. I want to thank everyone here tonight, and I also want to thank the person I'm in debt to for showing me that not everyone is complete, not everyone is perfect- Lindsey Smithson! And I'm going to do something I've wanted to do all day, but I'm not putting it off any longer, because I'm living for the moment - because, as I've realized in a flash today, your not always guaranteed that next moment. Lindsey, I love you."
He pulled me to him, close, and then, in front of the entire audience, in front of his brothers, in front of the cameras, the waving cellphones, admist the screams, he kissed me. Full on the lips, and passionatly. And I kissed back, never wanting the moment to end. When we finally pulled away, I was crying. I looked at him, and his eyes were glistening with tears too.
"Hi, everyone, I'm Joe," he said, smiling through the happy tears.
"I'm Kevin," Kevin said, grinning slightly.
"And I'm Nick, and we're the Jonas Brothers!" Nick said loudly, and the crowd went wild. "Our first song tonight will be, actually, not our usual one. It's going to be When You Look Me in the Eyes. And welcome our guest singer, Lindsey Smithson!" Joe handed me a microphone, smiling, and whispered in my ear, "You can do it." My heart skipped a beat, and my stomach churned, but I knew, from Joe's simple whisper, I had the renewed strength to do it. I turned it on and waited for the music, and sang. I had Nick's verses in the song, while he still had the chorus that he shared with me now, and Joe.
As we sang, I felt happier than I'd ever felt before. I let myself fly, above the crowd, into the microphone, let my soul be absorbed by the piano, by the screaming. I lost myself that day, and I was replaced with someone new and more confident, yet more humble. Someone who was loved, someone who had someone else who would be there forever, till the end, the end of time.
I didn't have to ask. He was mine.
