Chapter 9
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-Alfred Tennyson
“Nick, we’d better get back into the kitchen.” Sarah grabbed Nick’s arm and began to pull him away, shooting me and Emily apologetic glances. I found myself skeptical as to the truth of the sorry ness she appeared to feel. “We were baking a cake and we have to finish it before the show, it’s sort of a tradition. It’s really nice to meet you both.”
“Nat, you can come too, if you want.” He looked at me sincerely, like he didn’t want to leave me here. Still I felt as if he was asking the question just to be polite. I was torn on what to do. Finally I spoke.
“Don’t let me interrupt your baking tradition.” I tried to smile at him. I hoped it worked. I was never one to be able to hide my feelings. “Have fun baking.” I tried to sound happy and encouraging. Once again I couldn’t tell if it had actually worked.
“You’re sure?” His gaze searched my face.
I nodded. “Yeah. Besides, I’d be a hazard to our safety if I tried to bake something.”
“She would.” Emily jumped in. I shot her a mock-angry glance. She rolled her eyes. “ What? It’s true, you said it yourself.”
“Face it little bro,” Joe said teasingly. “she wants to hang out with us more.”
Nick ignored his brother’s comment. “Okay, if you’re sure.” He gave me a little smile and walked with Sarah into the kitchen.
I couldn’t believe how stupid I was. I had just let him go, when I didn’t have to. Still, I felt intimidated by Sarah, and I knew it would have been awkward if I had gone with them. It was their tradition, after all.
Joe, Emily, Kevin and I all walked over to the couch in front of the TV. Suddenly Emily squealed. “You have a wii!!!” Even though one wouldn’t expect it, Emily loved video games, not to mention the fact that she was good. It made me laugh.
Joe walked up next to her. “Yeah, wanna play?” He smiled confidently, as if he knew she would be horrible. I stifled a laugh. He had no idea what he was in for.
“Do you want to play?” Kevin asked me as Joe and Emily began to sort through the different games.
“Nah.” I played with the hem on my shirt. “I have to be in the right mood. Even then I’m pretty bad.”
“Good. I didn’t really want to either and I was hoping I would have some company.”
I laughed. Kevin made me feel at ease. He was comfortable and easy to talk to. We talked about various things; school, friends, and life in general. We laughed as Emily crushed Joe in almost every game. He insisted that he was just being a gentleman and letting her win, even though we all knew the truth.
Every time I looked over at the kitchen Kevin would ask me a question, or try to engage me more in the conversation. I think he was trying to get my mind off the fact that Nick was in the kitchen with that beautiful girl. It was a good effort and I appreciated the thought, but I don’t think anything could get my mind off it. I did my best to ignore the laughter coming from the kitchen. I refused to let it get to me, and I think I did a pretty good job of it. I directed all of my attention to talking with Kevin and laughing at Emily and Joe. I finally decided it was Joe Emily liked, and I kind of got the vibe that he liked her too, in the way he looked at her sometimes, like she held his complete attention.
Just then Sarah and Nick walked into the room laughing, covered in frosting and flour holding a messy looking chocolate cake. The words, “Good Luck JoBros!!” were written in pink frosting on the top.
Nick looked at Sarah and tried to stop laughing. “Cake anyone?” He held out the pitiful looking cake.
“Although it may not look it, it’s really tasty!” Sarah’s sweet voice made me sick. But I smiled at them and did my best to look amused.
Joe jumped up off the couch. “Why did you right it in pink? I am a man. I prefer more manly colors. Like black. Black is a man’s color.”
Emily let out a laugh and crossed her arms over her chest. “If you’re a man, than I’m a sasquatch.”
Joe turned and walked towards her, trying to be mockingly intimidating. “Oh yeah?” She giggled and stepped away from him. Yep, definitely Joe.
Kevin got a knife and began to cut the cake. Nick and Sarah went to change as the rest of us ate the cake. It was that bad of a cake, I’ll be the first one to admit it, but I felt sick to my stomach. I took a few bites and then put it down.
Emily came over next to me. “You okay?” I watched Joe out of the room.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I gave her a sarcastic look and then smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
She gave me a quick comforting hug. “It’ll get better, I promise.”
“It will.” Kevin came up next to us. I looked up at him startled. “Just give it a chance to get better. It will.” He smiled a comforting smile.
“I know.” I smiled at the two of them. I decided to make a trip to the bathroom, to freshen up and try to regain my bearings, hoping it would make me feel better. “Where the bathroom?”
Kevin pointed me down a hallway. “Third door on the right.”
I walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. The hallway was long and the doors were spread out, so what sounded like it should have been a short trip turned out to be pretty long. I suppose that was the developing trend with me and bathrooms. As I walked past the second door I heard muffled voices drift into the hall. When I heard Joe’s voice I stopped.
“Isn’t she the girl you wrote the song about? Isn’t she the amazing girl you couldn’t get out of your head? That we had to hear so much about?” Joe’s voice sounded irritated, but there was a pleading undertone. “Little bro, don’t mess this up. There was a one millionth chance you’d ever see her again. Now she’s sitting in our living room.”
“I know.” Nick’s voice sounded annoyed by his brother’s nagging. “Don’t you think I know that?”
“I just don’t want to see you mess this up.” Joe’s voice softened. “I know how much you care about her. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”
“Yeah, well I got it.”
My heart began to pound as I heard them move closer to the door. I jumped back and ran down the hallway into the bathroom. Safely behind the closed door I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes.
“Um, hello?” Surprised, I opened my eyes to find Sarah standing in front of the sink washing her hands.