Hey guys! This is a Joe one-shot songfic based on the song “Even Now” by Barry Manilow. Enjoy!
Even Now
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Even now
When there’s someone else who cares
When there’s someone home who’s waiting just for me
Even now I think about you
As I’m climbing up the stairs
And I wonder what to do so she won’t see
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
He sat on the row of cushioned seats lined at one side of the bus, his long body stretched out across it. There was a laptop sitting in his lap, the screensaver dimly glowing in the soft light shining from the full moon. His calloused hands rested on top of the keyboard, but his head was turned towards the empty countryside, passing outside the window.
The white light shone profile, illuminating the forlorn and sad expression he wore on his face. His eyes were dark onyx, and his wavy hair, normally dark brown and straight during the day, looked ink black in contrast with the pale alabaster color of his skin in the moonlight.
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That even now
When I knew it wasn’t right
And I found a better life than what we had
Even now I wake up crying in the middle of the night
And I can’t believe it still could hurt so bad
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Once again, like every other night, he found himself thinking of her. The girl he could never forget, even when he had a girlfriend already. Her face would just appear in his mind, and he’d have haunting dreams about jet-black straight hair and hazel-green eyes… both hers. And her laugh--God, her beautiful laugh... it would play through his head like a brokwn record all through the night, until he woke up.
Why couldn’t he forget? They had broken up a long time ago, two years after he had started touring with his brothers. But in reality, he had broken up with her. It was so stupid of him, he thought he was doing what was best for her, but she thought that he didn’t love her anymore. It wasn’t until she had left for her home back in New York had he realized what a stupid mistake he had made.
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Even now when I have come so far
I wonder where you are
I wonder why it’s still so hard without you
Even now when I come shinin’ through
I swear I think of you
And how I wish you knew
Even now
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
But she had been out of his life for three years already. He was already twenty, almost twenty-one. And nearly everyone had forgotten about her, save for his mother and Frankie. Despite his youngest brother’s age, he was wise beyond his years—like Nick—and he seemed to be the only one who he could talk to about her without being ashamed of crying. Call it strange, but it was true. Not that he didn’t trust Kevin and Nick and his father—he did, but there was that whole masculinity and pride thing involved… and with Frankie, it didn’t matter.
But even though nobody ever said her name, because it was so uncommon, he still remembered the way it sounded when she said it, the first time they met. He still remembered the way his heart would leap whenever she came over to visit. He still remembered the way she kissed him… the way it made him feel like flying to Jupiter and back again. But it wasn’t the same… there was never the same feeling between him and his girlfriend now, not the same way it was back then with her.
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Even now when I never hear your name
And the world has changed so much since you’ve been gone
Even now I still remember
And the feeling’s still the same
And this pain inside of me goes on and on
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
He didn’t know how she was. Was she still pursuing her dreams of becoming an architect? Was she attending that prestigious university like she had always planned on doing, before they met? Did she find another boyfriend, just like how he found another girl? Did she miss him as much as he missed her? Everything was so different now, everything had changed from back then, when they were still sixteen.
But even so, his chest still hurt whenever he caught a glimpse of straight dark hair on the other side of the street, or whenever he thought he saw her beautiful, almost cat-like eyes meeting his gaze at one of his shows. It still tugged at his heartstrings, like a broken melody, whenever he heard a laugh what sounded like hers, but turned out to be someone else’s. It still hurt, so very much...
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Even now when I have come so far
I wonder where you are
I wonder why it’s still so hard without you
Even now when I come shinin’ through
I swear I think of you
And how I wish you knew
Even now
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
He knew why he was still thinking about her, but he didn’t understand why he just couldn’t seem to let go. It was torturous, every night, especially when the moon was full… he knew she’d probably be looking up into the same night sky and gazing at the same moon, and he wished he could somehow tell her how much he thought about her.
“Joe? Why are you up so late?”
He glanced back to see his oldest brother sitting up in his bunk, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
“Nothing, Kev,” Joe replied softly, turning back to face the shining moon. “Just thinking, that’s all.”
“ ‘Kay, just go to sleep soon,” Kevin said as he yawned, before falling asleep again.
“Yeah,” Joe whispered, not really listening. “Just thinking…”
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Even now
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
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So I hope that was okay! I don’t know, but in my opinion, this was kind of weird… but please comment!
~Elle
