Just a fair warning: I touch upon a few touchy subjects in this one-shot. Nothing too intense at all, but I just felt better saying this beforehand. Enjoy, loves!
The autumn breeze drifted over Aubrey as she sat on the edge of a parking garage. She watched her feet as they dangled, the back of her legs occasionally grazing over the cement of the structure. She found herself darting her eyes to the ground that lay stories below her every few minutes as she lost herself in her thoughts.
She watched thousands of little girls excitedly exit the venue, a beaming smile on each of their faces. She could hear them each shouting disjointed thoughts about which Jonas Brother looked their way and how big Nick’s muscles had gotten. Aubrey was supposed to be one of those girls that night but yet again, her father’s temper had become an overpowering force that she was no match for. Yet again, she had stepped the smallest toe out of line and his fist met her cheek. He ripped up the pair of tickets Aubrey had bought with her own hard-earned money right in front of her eyes, causing them to become full of tears almost instantaneously. At the sight of her whimpers, he only hit her harder.
Aubrey ran as fast as she could as far as she could, knowing full well that he’d be on her tail, following her every move in his car. She somehow managed to lose him as she rounded the corner to the venue that she knew she could have been in only hours later, watching the boys that had impacted her so much perform live for the first time. She hid in the uppermost level of the parking garage, hoping her father wouldn’t think to look for her there.
It had been all too easy to lose track of the time that she had been sitting there, but she knew it must’ve been hours. Night had fallen, but she barely noticed, distracted by her constant thoughts about the past nineteen years of her life. Nineteen years of unending abuse; nineteen years of an inescapable hell. As she sat on the concrete edge, she couldn’t help but think that a freefall onto the sidewalk could potentially end it all. If she aimed far enough, she could land in the street and if she was lucky, would make contact with a car just in time to send her sailing to her death. She stood up and saw that only a few fans remained; the looks on their faces displaying their intense desire for a potential last glance at the band.
Aubrey stood up slowly, the front of her Converses hanging over the edge of the parking deck, but only slightly. She crossed her arms as a harsh wind flooded over her body and she let out a barely audible yelp. In her rush to escape her father’s wrath, she hadn’t the chance to retrieve a jacket. She stood in the unusually chilly fall weather in a light t-shirt and ripped jeans and she watched each goosebump as it appeared on her skin. As cold and miserable as she was, she couldn’t deny that she’d rather be where she was now than at home.
Aubrey looked down at the ground once again as she inched closer and closer to the edge. Something inside of her was pushing her to jump, to finally end the pain. It was dark and the streetlights were dimmed. The remaining fans were so engrossed in the lingering hype of the concert that they wouldn’t notice and aside from those girls, the streets of Philadelphia were uncharacteristically quiet and bare. It wasn’t like many people acknowledged her life to begin with—who would care about her death?
She felt the sudden sting of tears stab her eyes and as hard as she tried to fight them off, they fell furiously down her cheeks. She wiped them away on the skin of her wrist and took a deep breath. It was now or never and she wanted to unleash one final scream. Though her mouth opened, her voice could form no words. She flung her arms back and inhaled deeply before the sound of an engine murmuring in the night drifted into her ear. Someone had just turned on their car. She was no longer alone.
“Come on, Aubrey. Jump before they see you,” she said, anxiously intertwining her fingers.
She turned to see three black SUVs driving towards the lower levels of the parking garage. She clenched her fists in hopes that each would pass her by, and let out a sigh of relief when they did just that.
“Okay, Aubrey. What are you waiting for?” she questioned herself.
Was she supposed to do just do this? Was she supposed to bid the cruel world goodbye or jump silently to the ground? Did it even matter? She threw back her arms once away, ready to finally launch herself into flight.
“WAIT!” a voice called from a distance.
Aubrey swung her body around, wobbling on the edge. Her eyes locked with the voice’s source and her body was imprisoned with a new kind of tension. There, only feet away from her, was Kevin Jonas. She tried to ignore him, but the sound of his boots on the concrete as he inched closer and closer to her was a constant distraction.
“Please,” she mumbled. “Please don’t come any closer.”
Kevin threw up his hands in surrender.
“You got it,” he said.
“If you’re here to stop me, well, there’s no use,” Aubrey said.
Her hard stare into the abyss of the dark Philadelphia night didn’t break. She didn’t turn to look at Kevin. She barely even blinked.
“You should just go back to whatever it is you were doing and just let me do this,” she continued. “I don’t think you want to watch a girl kill herself.”
“Well, no I don’t,” Kevin replied frankly. “But I’m not leaving until you agree to come back from that ledge. So I’d appreciate it if you saved me some time and just did it now. I’ve got all the time in the world, so take your time. I’ll get comfortable.”
Kevin, keeping true to his word, did not come any closer, but instead sat cross-legged on the cold concrete. He didn’t want to intimidate Aubrey with his presence, but at the same time, didn’t want to let her know that he was just as nervous for her life as she was. He maintained a confident air about him. If he didn’t falter, maybe she wouldn’t either.
One of the black SUVs that Aubrey had seen before pulled up next to Kevin and she heard one of its windows as it rolled down.
“Kev, what’s going on?” a familiar voice asked.
Kevin pointed to Aubrey, whose shirt illuminated in the brightness of the vehicle’s headlights. He said nothing, but Joe, who had questioned him, got out of the car quietly.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“Fine,” Aubrey grunted. “But things would be better if you could get your brother to leave.”
Joe bent down to Kevin’s level and put his hand on his older brothers’ shoulder.
“Do you want me to like, call the police?” he asked. “This girl could be nuts.”
“I can handle it. Tell someone to wait for me downstairs,” Kevin whispered in reply. “And if this girl was nuts, she would’ve jumped already.”
“I know you guys are talking about me,” Aubrey said.
She turned her body around so that she could face them quickly. Too quickly. Her balance escaped her and one of her feet slipped off the edge. Joe and Kevin rushed over to her as she grasped onto the ledge, barely able to hold on. Joe put his arm around her as Kevin went to hoist her up.
“Just. Let. Me. FALL,” she demanded, fighting them off.
“If you wanted to fall, you wouldn’t have grabbed the ledge,” Kevin said.
Together, the two brothers were able to pull Aubrey back up. She stood up and pushed them away.
“I’m fine, really. You can go,” she said, frustration leaking from every word.
“Joe, get in the car. I’ll take care of this,” Kevin said.
Joe gave Kevin a quick pat of encouragement on the back and knew that if Kevin said he could handle a situation alone, that he should trust him. The SUV pulled away, leaving Aubrey and Kevin alone once again. She approached the ledge of the parking garage once again, but Kevin grabbed her arm.
“Before you do this, I want you to tell me what could possibly make a girl as beautiful as you want to do something as serious as this,” he said.
“As pretty as me? Look at me,” she whispered.
Aubrey looked up at him, the tears swelling in her eyes. For the first time, the moonlight shone on her face, exposing a black eye and a bloodied lip. Her long red hair cascaded down her back and her green eyes sparkled every time they caught the moonlight, but there was something about her vulnerability that made her even more beautiful.
“Please, just tell me. Maybe talking about whatever got you up on that ledge would be better than trying to jump off it,” Kevin said.
He reached for her arm and his fingers gently grazed her skin. She backed away quickly and shuddered in the chill of the night.
“You wouldn’t understand even if I tried to tell you,” Aubrey said as she stepped further away from Kevin.
“I’ll try to understand,” he replied softly.
“You’re some big famous rock star, Kevin. You have it all. There’s no way you could possibly understand what I’m go—,” she was interrupted.
“You think just because I am who I am, I don’t know what pain is? I wish,” he said. “Here, sit with me. Talk with me.”
Aubrey walked over to take a seat on the ledge.
“Over here, preferably,” Kevin laughed as he once again sat on the tar.
Aubrey felt strangely comfortable as she told Kevin her life story. He seemed genuinely concerned and engaged in what she had to say. He wasn’t listening to her out of obligation and it was clear that he didn’t think she was out of her mind.
“So this isn’t the first time you tried to—well—you know?” Kevin asked.
“Kill myself. You can say it,” Aubrey said bluntly. “And no, it’s not.”
She turned her arm outwards, exposing the scars that seemed to be barely healing on her wrists. Kevin instinctively placed his fingers over each scar, wishing his touch would make them disappear.
“But I haven’t done anything like this in awhile,” she explained. “Because I found your music…”
Her voice trailed off and Kevin’s heart felt strangely warm. He always appreciated hearing that his music inspired people, but to hear Aubrey’s story made him feel like he was actually needed in the world.
“I know that sounds lamer than lame, but you guys have saved me so many times,” she said. “I mean, you’ve done it again tonight for crying out loud. Of all people to show up, it’s you. It’s always you.”
Kevin and Aubrey both found themselves hiding their reddening faces from the other. Kevin saw another shiver run through Aubrey’s body and he himself couldn’t ignore that the air was getting colder by the second. His eyes rolled over her before he finally removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She thanked him with a smile and looked straight into the sky. She pointed at each star and explained to Kevin that she truly believed that each star was an angel and that the only reason that she survived the night was the innumerable amount of stars that happened to be out that night. She went to put her hand back down, but missed the ground and accidentally placed her fingers on top of Kevin’s wrist.
“Oh, jeez, sorry. Awkward,” she said as she looked the other way to avoid embarrassment.
“Not even,” Kevin said.
He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with his. He was surprised when she didn’t pull away, even though her face showed signs of nervousness. Aubrey turned her face towards Kevin and before she knew it, found her lips locked with his. She was unsure of who initiated the kiss, but couldn’t find a reason to care. For the first time, she felt safe in the arms of a man and she was afraid of what it would feel like when it was all said and done. Nothing matter but Kevin, Aubrey, and the moment they both lost themselves in. When their lips finally parted, Aubrey looked up at the stars once more.
“I don’t think any of those angels can compare to you,” she whispered as she nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck.