You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds
song by: Mayday Parade
If I get enough responses I'll post another one =] I was home sick today so I wrote this, I hope you enjoy it.
But please make sure to know the song beforehand, otherwise it won't be as meaningful. I picked a beautiful song so it won't be tasking to listen to<3 -Jesi (At least the ending if not the whole song hehe)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePNRTnR3GbY
And honestly I have been begging for answers:
That you and only you can give to me.
My voice crying out—been crying for days now.
And as I start to run I start to breathe—
Nick pressed his ipod off and allowed his pace to slow. The sun hung down low behind him, and if one passed the scene you would swear it was hiding from him. This may have been the case, but it wasn’t the golden sun who was cowering, it was the boy.
Quiet noises followed his footsteps as he slowly continued down the walk. His brow was covered in sweat. Who knows how long he had been running. After a few more minutes of walking his breathing had slowed and he looked up to find himself along the shore. For March it was too cold to stand the sea breeze, but today against his bare chest, the sting of salt air felt good. He looked out over a dune to see the empty sand before that stretched to meet the curling waves. The gentle wind left the more distant waters calm and glassy, but at its edge the white curls twisted and smashed onto the sand with painful, rhythmic slops. Nick stopped to watch the torrent with apathetic interest. The nauseating sound the waves made on the ground turned his stomach and hit against his heart. It was a lonely sound, and this boy knew about loneliness.
He descended the beach towards the softer sand, and looked out through the gray skies. Here in the solitude of the strong winds, his thoughts came to him. Why aren’t you here? Where have you gone to? Where had the good and the bad met to cause such a thing to happen; much like the line that cut through the sea and the sky? Why didn’t you tell me? The boy had been having these strange thoughts a lot recently. Is any of this for real? ...Or not? He reached up to wipe his brow in frustration, feeling the angst of his thoughts weigh down over his heart. Pressing down over his eyes he felt them raw to the touch. One would never be able to tell he had been crying for days now. The questions had been coming to him time after time without rest; leaving him a shadow of the boy had had been only a few days ago. But he’d never find the answers to those questions. Because only she knew…and had taken them with her.
And I was nearly scared to death,
Of why you left in paragraphs
Words were nearly overhead.
You stop and turn and grab your bags.
Running was the only thing that brought him relief now. It allowed his lungs to open and breathe the air that brought him comfort.
She’d killed herself, taken her own life—and left him to stare at an empty world. His best friend—his best friend. Lily, like the dew-covered flowers that lined the streets of their town. Except there was one Lily he’d never gaze upon again. Her features came to him in throbbing waves that crashed against his fragile heart like the curls against the sand. Her silky blonde hair, those sea-green eyes—and her perfect, heart-wrenching smile. He swallowed her face to hold back the tears, but they came again this time in silent troves. His best friend had come and gone just as quickly as the sloshing waves along the ocean’s edge. Each one just as loud and lonely as the last—and thus all the same. But that’s where she was different, Lily wasn’t the same. She never allowed herself to conform, and she reached out a gentle hand to those in need, instead of one to point and mock. Her voice was soft and a melody to his ears. And he would never, ever hear its beauty again. She’d never say his name again, slip her tiny arms around his waist and smile; just for him—only for him…but never for him again. He never knew how unhappy she was. She never showed a sign. Nick racked his brains once more but yet again came up empty. There was nothing there. Overdose, they said. She’d taken her mother’s pills to stop her heart—Nick closed his eyes, and tried to force the memory away of the day they told him. His mother ran upstairs in a panic early one morning, her voice harried and screeching as she ran into his room, Kevin, ghostly at her heels. He clenched his fists and refused to return to that memory. He’d been reliving it every other moment since it happened, and each time it made him sicker to his stomach. She’d left a note for him, and though he’d barely allowed himself to read it, it cut his heart inches deep. It nearly scared him to death, of how she could leave him in paragraphs—that she could sum up her end in just a few short words, and then leave him forever. It was just didn’t make sense.
As hours move to minutes
And minutes take longer to break
I will be desperately awaiting
But my tongue won't fall apart
And we've been sitting here for hours
All alone and in the dark
So let me think of to word it
Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?
If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere
I'm sure everything would find me
All that's left is just to sing
Hours slipped by, the waves keeping a rhythmic score of how many endless moments he spent standing, staring. No thoughts came to him, but he felt as if he was thinking about everything at once. The world was passing through his ears and eyes and mind and yet none of it stuck, because none of it mattered to him. It was almost as if he was standing there not to sort out his thoughts, but to wait. He’d wait for Lily forever, even if it meant standing there along the shorefront, gazing at the sharp horizon with a deadened look. He’d wait until the horizon blinked first and brought back his love before he ever left the sand. He was waiting for some sort of answer. Perhaps if he stayed long enough, the time would find him a smarter man—a more experienced boy with the answers he needed to move on. The sky was transforming into indigo shapes with murderous red along its edges. Clouds were shifting and swirling against their backdrop until they were too insignificant to see against the darkening sky. Stars would appear soon overhead, just another reminder that somehow, life was still going on. But it didn’t seem probable—that the world had any motivation left to spin when he himself felt so tired and uninspired. Tired—the word felt dry and lifeless on his mind, and he felt his eyes lull a bit. The air was cold and biting against his skin now, but he couldn’t find the ability to move. He hadn’t slept in days, and even when he had he’d woken up more tired than before. He wouldn’t speak to his brothers or his parents, and shows were one long blur he couldn’t decipher. He’d long since stopped trying to figure everyone else out. How could they move on so quickly, or even feign the act? No one who loves someone so deeply can ever let them go. And that’s where his mind stuck. He blinked and a sudden rush of tears flowed from his eyes and he allowed himself to sit down on his thought.
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
He was starting to understand why he felt so tired, so lifeless, so lost. They had all let go—let go of Lily. They were able to drive and speak and sing and play, but only because they allowed themselves to push her out of their minds long enough. Or maybe they had felt they had her all figured out and lived life in that plastic confidence. Nick remembered at the funeral how somber the room felt, as if the sorrow built up within it was crushing the walls of the house. But that feeling only lingered as long as they were mourning Lily’s death. Outside, the feeling was gone because they had all let go. They never truly loved Lily like Nick loved her. They were all pretend. Except for Nick, because he would never let Lily go. Even if it killed him.
He breathed in the salt air and felt the tears rushing down his chin onto his shorts. He could hear himself crying, but it didn’t seem to him that it was even his voice. The rage of the curls meshed with his aching heart and helped to drown the sound. Every wave dragged him further and further out to sea—carrying his lonely call out to the darkening abyss—to no one—to nothing. The loose sand around him, piled with lifeless skeletons of children’s play-forts and castles kicked up and scuttled around him in wispy lines. They crumbled and fell so innocently, as if they never mattered—and Nick’s chest tightened once more. The heavy sobs choked him and he smashed his palms into the sand in desperation for air. He looked towards the sky and glared at the last remaining breaths of sunlight.
“Is everyone here make-believe?” He cowered and shook. His face was twisted in agony as he stared—shaking, waiting for an answer.
But one did not come.
Almost as if God too waited for an answer—for Nick to tell him what he was dying to know as well. Almost as if to say ‘Son, that’s the question.’
Nick bellowed in sheer anguish, the silence so powerful and meaningful that it was destroying his ears. He placed his head in his hands and sobbed, twitching and reacting to every roar of the waves, every howl the wind made and every shiver he felt as they tortured him together. His eyes bloodshot and purpling, Nick reached into his pocket and pulled the crumpled note he’d held close to him for days now.
“And you'll sing to me sweet until then
I may never sail Virginia again
And as this current moves slow for me
This much you must know—we’ll meet again;
And I'll have you know I'm scared to death.”
His eyes watered to the brim of his top eyelid with trying tears as he read her words over again. She was scared—and he wanted so badly to hold her again, to tell her to never be frightened again as long as he was there beside her. But he could never hold her again. Her pain was too far and few between as well as undetected. He couldn’t imagine what could drive her to leave him, to leave everything that made his life glow. She mentioned the ocean and he looked once more out on to it—her pain wasn’t going away, just like the sound of the waves. She couldn’t bare it and neither could he. He could see how incessant it must have been—a constant, berating torture just as constant as the surf against sand. He dug his fingernails into the sand to keep from screaming.
Tell me once again
That you'll love me to the death
And should I die, you swear that you will come for me
As I fade away, you reach out your hand
Nick could feel his body draining, his mind losing focus and his head bobbed down along his shoulders.
“Tell me you love me,” he squeaked and felt tears he didn’t even try to control run along his nakedness. “Tell me you’ll love me to the death,” he begged. But all he was left with again was the scream of the ocean. His mind suddenly flipped to rewind and millions of thoughts rushed him again. Not only had his friends and family and everyone around him let Lily go—she had let him go. Like he had thought before—but now it was all so clear to him, all so real and so much more meaningful than before. No one who loves someone so deeply can ever let them go. But Lily had let him go.
He broke out in a shuttering sob.
And please don't let me…
“And please don't let me go!” He screamed, his back arched as he cried skyward—his voice rushed once again by the torturous waves.
And please don't let me go…
“And please don't let me go…!!” He reached up, trying to hold on, crying and moaning but nothing grabbed back. Nothing came to him. Thoughts flooded and he fought back against them—trying to push back time and contemplation as well as the bay of the wind and torrent of the sea all at once. Nick forced everything away from him, pushing at the screaming, the noise, the truth, trying to find the beautiful girl he loved so bitterly. She couldn’t have let him go—he loved her too much. He’d wanted to marry her, to hold her, to love her and nothing less. She had reached out her hand and then let it go, let everything that made him feel alive go and disappeared forever.
“NO!!” Nick screamed, falling forward on his arms, vomiting and coughing as he continued to sob. He had no energy left to breathe and he felt his lungs collapsing and squishing his shattered heart.
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
His crying slowed as he slouched against his arm, his stomach turgid and throbbing in the wake of his frenzy. His other arm shielded his face—not from the sand that still blew into his eyes and stung his skin, but from the groan of the sea. In a last few desperate breaths he prayed to hear her voice again—just once, to know everything he’d thought before was wrong. That she would never let him go; that his Lily, his love, was still here. That she still loved him, that she still…loved…him. He looked around, the waves monstrous in his ears as he strained for it—pleaded for it. But it would never come. She was gone.
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
id like to have at least 5 responses =/ i did puts lotsa work into it
