A Living Shadow
Chapter 1:
Thousands of eyes stared back at me. My grip tightened in the microphone I held in my hand. My breathing quickened. People cheered when the spotlight hit me, but chanted a name that wasn't mine. I sang a cheesy pop song written for someone else. A large section of the crowd screamed, "We love you!"
But they didn't love me. They loved the person I was pretending to be.
My story starts about 15 years ago, when my parents were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Two minutes later, I arrived. Our family had received more than they'd bargained for that day, and as I grew up, I got the feeling that they hadn't wanted more.
We had both inherited a love of music from our Dad, but I was the one supplied with that extra does of talent. I had no intention of sharing my voice with the world, but my sister sure did. By age two, she had performed her Home Sweet Home tour in front of relatives and friends that came to visit our parents. She was the perfect example of a natural born performer. Our parents encouraged her to shine and perform, and she did just that, as her self-confidence grew bigge and bigger.
I, on the other hand, was happy working "behind-the-scenes". While my bubbly twin sister glowed in the spotlight, I became more quiet and reserved. I would much rather be alone than sing for a crowd.
For two people who looked so alike, we could never be more different.
We grew up this way. Our farm was crazy, with kids and animals running around everywhere. My oldest brother was too wrapped up in his own life to really care about mine, and my older sister actually started avioding me. My other brother seemed like one of the only people who had time for me, but even then I got the feeling that he'd rather be riding the horses out back than spend time with me.
In a family of performers, I was the outcast. It was hard to face, but somehow I knew deep down that being different was going to make me a star of my own life.
Everything seemed to be falling into place, but when it came time for me to go to school, I automatically froze up. Of course, you can guess who was thrilled about this, but being left by my parents in a room with 20 kids I didn't know wasn't my idea of fun. I got so worked up about it that my mom decided that I should be homeschooled. Mrs. Martin from the farm next door offered to be my teacher, and everything started going well again. We all got excited as the first school days approached.
When September came around, I watched my sister get on the bus and wave at me through the foggy window before I made my way across the yard for my first day of kindergarten. I couldn't wait to start learning. I reached the house and knocked twice. When the door swung open, I was surprised to find a small boy who looked to be about my age staring back at me. "Hi, I'm Colin! I know we're going to be great friends!"
At that moment, all I could do was stare back at him. I soon came to realise that he was absoleutely right. While I was still not comfortable with the siblings I'd grown up with, Colin and I were already chatting away even though we had only met mere minutes ago. Even though we were both only 4 years old, we knew that we had something special. We had a bond that would never break.
We had a friendship.
Time passed on, and school days went by too quickly. Colin and I always managed to finish early, so we would have enough time to play on the farm. Naptimes were replaced by acres of land and the endless supply of games our imaginations cooked up. At snacktime, we would munch on warm cookies Mrs. Martin made. The two of us were inseparable, and everyone knew it.
There was rarely a time we didn't spend together. I came over every day, school day or not. All through Grade one, two, three... until I turned nine.
That's when everything in my life started to fall apart.