Hey guys! This is my newest one-shot, one that I wrote for the amazing Ray. :] It's based off the song "Then I Did" by Rascal Flatts ... it's an incredible song, and if you've never heard it, you should totally check it out.
Anyways, here you go! Let me know what you think! I wrote it in about an hour and a half, so I'm sorry if there are any big errors ... I'm not big on proof-reading. :]
Author's note - I do not own the song "Then I Did" nor do I take credit for the lyrics. :]
THEN I DID
I stared out the window of the airplane, still suspended thousands of feet above the ground. I gazed through the clouds at the landscape below, admiring how beautiful the city looked from the sky, though I could never admit to my brothers that such a thought had crossed my mind.
I had flown over this city, my hometown, only a handful of times in the past year, and every time I did, I thought of her. I thought of the way her blonde hair always shone in the sunlight, and the certain way that her green eyes sparkled when I looked at her. A tear escaped my eye, and I quickly flicked it away before my brothers could see. I glanced over at them, and to my relief, they were still fast asleep.
Maybe I should call her, I thought to myself as I again looked out the small window. But it had been so long since I had spoken to her, I wasn’t sure if she even had the same phone number.
As the plane began it’s descent, I thought back to the warm August evening over a year ago that I had tried so incredibly hard to forget, but had failed miserably at doing so. Because forgetting that evening would mean erasing the last time I had seen her from my memory, and I simply couldn‘t do it. Forgetting her was impossible.
I had called her and asked her to meet me at the swing set in the small park by our houses. For the two years we had been together, this had always been the place where we went to talk, or to simply just to be alone together. Many nights had been spent there, laying on a blanket in the grass, holding hands as we stared at the stars in the sky.
But that particular August night, I hadn’t called her to come to the park for romantic reasons. As I sat waiting for her, my stomach was twisting with fear, not knowing how she would react to what I had to tell her. After what seemed like an eternity, I saw her walking through the grass toward me. Timeliness had never been one of her strong points, as was the case that night. As she walked up to the swing that I was perched on, the brave front that I had tried to put on crumbled, and my knees shook as I stood up to envelope her in a hug,
“Rachel,” I had mumbled into her hair as I held her tightly. I heard her sniffle; she knew something was not right. I ran my fingers through her soft locks, not wanting to let her go.
“Ray,” I had continued, calling her by the abbreviated version of her name that I commonly used. “I have to go.” Rachel had pulled away from me slightly and looked me in the eyes, her mouth twisting into a frown.
“What do you mean?” she had asked. “Kevin, you just got here.”
“No, baby,” I’d said, shifting my gaze to the ground. “I have to leave town. That’s why I called you. My brothers and I …” I paused and looked at her before continuing. “We’re going on tour. We leave tomorrow, and I don‘t know how long I‘ll be gone.” A tear slid down Rachel’s cheek as she attempted to absorb what I had just said.
“Do you have to?” was all she could manage to ask. I sighed and nodded.
“I’ve been waiting all my life for a break like this. It’s my chance of a lifetime. I just know it is. I’ve got to go and find these dreams...” my voice cracked as I trailed off. I wanted to say more, explain more, but I didn't trust my voice.
Rachel nodded, black mascara staining her cheeks from the tears that fell. She had kissed me tenderly, quickly, then pulled back and lightly squeezed my hand.
“Go,” she’d said. “You need to do this, Kev. Go and show everyone how amazing you are. Go do what you love.”
And then I did. The year that followed had been a whirlwind of events. My brothers and I had toured the country, put out an album, and had been labeled the “next big thing”. We had made it to the top, and it had been a dream come true. But no matter how much success came our way, I still felt empty inside, as though something was missing. I had everything in my life that I could possibly have dreamed of. Except one thing.
Rachel.
At first, we had tried to make things work, despite the distance between us. After a couple of months on the road, the stress of touring finally began to catch up with me, and I was ready to throw in the towel. I missed my normal life, my friends, but most of all I missed Rachel. Several times she’d had to talk me out of giving up and coming home, using my own words to keep me on track.
“You’ve been waiting all your life for a break like this,” Rachel had told me. “It’s your chance of a lifetime. You just know it is. You’ve got to go and find those dreams. Just keep performing. Kev, it‘s what you love to do. Just keep going.”
And then I did. That push from Rachel had been all I’d needed to remain focused, and I allowed myself to enjoy performing and enjoy the fame. But fame had come with a price. It ended up costing me Rachel.
I fished a pen and paper out of my carry-on bag, and began to write. The words flowed quickly and effortlessly from my head onto the paper. Thoughts and memories from the past year appeared in black ink, and as the plane touched down, the page was filled. I held the finished product up in my hands, knowing that the lyrics on the paper would go perfectly with a melody that my brothers and I had come up with a few days earlier.
As my brothers and I walked off the plane and into the airport, I fished my phone out of my coat pocket. I scrolled through my contact list and stopped on a familiar number.
Just call her, I urged myself. Just do it.
I pressed “send” and breathed a sigh of relief when I didn’t immediately hear a recorded voice telling me that the number had been disconnected. It rang four times, and I was about to hang up when I heard her answer.
“Hello?” I squeezed my eyes shut, letting her voice fill my head. I knew it was her without even having to ask. I could never forget her voice. My mind suddenly blanked, and I had no idea what to say.
“Hello?” the voice asked again.
“Rachel, hi,” I said, finally finding my voice.
“Kevin?”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding even though she couldn’t see me. “It’s me.”
Silence was the only response that I got. Rachel said nothing.
“I’m back in town,” I continued, nervously picking at a thread on my coat. “I was wondering if we could talk. Meet me at the park? In an hour?”
Still nothing was said on the other end of the line. Finally, Rachel spoke.
“Okay,” she said. Then there was a click, and she was gone.
A little over an hour later, I sat alone in the park, gently swinging on the swing set. My acoustic guitar laid on its side next to me. There was no sign of Rachel. I planted my feet in the dirt beneath the swing and skidded to a stop before standing up. I picked up the guitar case and started to walk away from the swing set, my arms folded across my chest as a cool breeze whipped at my hair.
Then I saw her. She was walking across the small baseball field toward me, her hands shoved in the pockets of her jeans. I couldn’t help but smile as she got closer to me. She was more beautiful than I remembered, if even possible. Her blonde hair was a little longer, and she appeared to be a bit taller, too.
“I was afraid you weren’t going to come,” I said as Rachel walked up to me.
She shrugged nonchalantly. “I almost didn’t.” She walked over to one of the swings and sat down. “So talk.” I followed her, and took a seat on the swing next to hers.
“I … I just …” I struggled to find the words that I wanted to say. On the way to the park, I had planned out everything that I wanted to say, but now that it was actually time to say it, I couldn’t. I jumped out of the swing and knelt down next to the guitar case, opening it and carefully taking out the guitar. I put the strap over my head, and looked directly at Rachel, who had a confused look on her face.
“I wrote this song on the plane,” I said as I picked at the strings. “I think it pretty much explains everything.” I began to play, the notes floating from the guitar into the night air. A few seconds later, I started to sing.
“I thought about calling you when I got off the plane.
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way.
Call me crazy for missing you like this but I do.
By now I figured you had all your numbers changed
It's been at least a year since I called you up to say
‘We need to talk. I’ve got this shot and I think I'm going to take it.
Because I’ve been waiting all my life
For a break like this.
It's my chance of a lifetime, I just know it is.
I gotta go and find these dreams.’
Was the last thing that I said
And then I did.
You talked me out of giving up on myself so many times.
Convinced me to get it in while I could, regrets hang heavy on my mind.
You never doubted me, you kept pushing me.
Saying ‘You've been waiting all your life for a break like this.
It's your chance of a lifetime, you just know it is.
You gotta go and find those dreams.’
Was the last thing that you said
And then I did.
But you were wrong.
Love was what I wanted all along.
And now you're gone.”
Tears began to fall down Rachel’s cheeks, and I nearly stopped singing. I was dying to drop the guitar, rush over to her and hug her and wipe away her tears, but I didn’t. I continued to play.
“I thought about calling you when I got off the plane.
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way.
But you were wrong.
Love was what I wanted all along.
But you were wrong.
Yeah, love was what I wanted all along.
I‘ve been waiting all my life.”
I finished the song, my own eyes damp. Silence surrounded us for several moments before Rachel finally spoke.
“You wrote that about me?” Rachel asked in disbelief. I nodded and set down the guitar. I walked over to the swing that Rachel sat in and knelt down next to her.
"Did you ... do you ..." I could tell she was struggling to think of what to say.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “For everything. I’m sorry that it took so long for me to realize what a mistake I made in letting you slip away. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I put the fans before you. Ray, you always came first.” I swallowed back the lump that had formed in my throat before continuing. “I love you, Ray. I always have, and I always will.”
Rachel stood up and I wrapped my arms around her warm body. “I love you, too,” she mumbled into my chest. I tipped her chin up with my finger, leaned my head down and pressed my lips to hers. I pulled her into my body as I kissed her, afraid to let her go. The kiss was eagar, powerful, yet soft and tender at the same time. It was a year of want and need all rolled into a thirty-second time frame.
I slowly pulled my face away from Rachel’s, and ran my fingers through her hair. “I’m so sorry,” I said again, staring into her eyes. “I promise I’ll never---”
“Kevin?” Rachel interrupted.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Just shut up and kiss me again.”
And then I did.
COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED! :]
