Inscription of Victory:
NOTE: The name Swaeri is pronounced "Swah-ray". The name Lorelia is pronounced "Lore-ah-lee-ah".
You tend to your meager homework, pick at the rubble that surrounds your life. Or what you think surrounds your life. What you've been tricked into believing is so terrible, because it requires a small bit of thinking and perspiration. Nothing was ever invented without those two elements, and yet you make them sound as if they make your whole existance worth executing. I'd give anything to experience a bit of thinking, and perspiration. I'd even give my life.
There'd be no significant value to it anyway.
The days that smother me, endlessly. The scorching sun, braising heat, and boiling trickles of water that issue from the dry ground, too small to drink, too contaminated for bathing. The senseless wandering, the hopeless want for at the very least, a simple meal. A meal that doesn't involve endless haggling, or worthless nutritional value.
I'm no more than an ant, searching. Hunting.
I have AIDs. I'm homeless, in a Tanzanian townshend. I don't work, I scower markets for lapses in secuirty, and steal by the most diminuitive amounts possible. I see no problems, and therefore I never carry a heavy conscience. Africa isn't all about the unable-to-be emulated wildlife - its about the struggles of daily survival, when all hope is lost.
Perusing the filth-laden streets, a young girl tugged on the edge of my ragged skirts. I swatted her head lightly, and stroked her stubble-ridden and sweaty forehead. The sun was boring holes in us, I feared.
The young child kicked at a glossy flyer that was halfway buried under a cloud of clay. I brushed away the dribbles, and peered at it. Being the only one in the town who could properly read and write, I was useful for this.
"It says, 'Jonas Brothers performing at Tanzania's official convention center, May 1st'. Only a few days away."
No answer, only the sound of Lorelia running her hand along the slick cover of the brochure.
"Brothers, yes. Look at them, aren't they cute, Lorelia? They must be American," I whispered, fingering the flyer softly. "They must be living their dreams."
No answer from Lorelia. I didn't expect one.
Lorelia had lived in the village as long as I myself had been - I had journeyed here after the rest of my family had perished from the perilous disease I was too afflicted with. I met her when scouring the markets, and she had indeed tugged on my skirt, bold as you please. I'd looked down, and seen a girl no larger than a gigantic dog, thin and threadbare. Her eyes were gaunt and her demeanor sad. When I encouraged her to speak, to answer a question, she never spoke a word.
I'd heard from elders in the townshend it was because her parents had beaten her, told her to never speak. They'd frightned her into ever opening her mouth, to ushering out an opinion. She was heartless, it seemed, at first.
But then, I saw her everyday, and we grew close. Learning her name from the elders, and she learning mine from them telling her, Swaeri, we grew closer and closer every day. She was like a sister, a daughter. But she never stayed with me after dark, and always ran.
I only wished she'd open her eyes, and see what a beautiful world life could be, when only you embraced it and spoke of it.
Why couldn't I myself follow my own honey-coated advice?
Nick's POV
Stepping off the airplane, I gathered my carry-ons and walked down the ramp, a heat wave flowing over me as I tried to stop the boiling Tanzanian air from enveloping me. Joe and Kevin too brushed hands across their sweating foreheads, and we squinted as we followed our parents and security guard into the private airport, eyes averted from those inside.
Once at our hotel, I looked out the window and let my eyes travel along the dense and rural scene in front of me - gorgeous wildlife, bouncing in all directions, and a beautiful horizon.
Until I looked just beyond the horizon.
A small, dirty town could be made out, just beyond the pinks of the horizon. It was shrouded in darkness, clouds issuing from the mud roofs. I sucked in a breath, as a tall girl stepped into view, a tiny child clinging to her tightly. She gave the hotel a dismal, yet unknowingly fierce look, and pivoted on her dirty heel and left, a cloud of ashes swirling in her midst. I pulled back the curtains, vision still etched into my brain.
Swaeri's POV
The next morning, Lorelia was at my side, as usual. She tapped my shoulder silently, awaiting me to awake and stir, as I always did. The sun was roaring, although the day was in it's meager stages. Standing and brushing the excess dirt clinging to my filthy shift, I traipsed along behind Lorelia, the stagnant wind unwelcome and biting.
Curls. Glimpse of thick, dark curls. Ones that did not generally appear in these areas.
Blazer. A stiff, expensive looking plaid blazer.
Pants. Tight, unusual white jeans. Style I was not familiar with.
But the boy adorning all of these trends was classic in stature - strongly defined cupid's bow, sharp, squinting eyes, and luxorious deep, rich curls. His jaw line was fantastic, and his skin was glowing in the sunlight. I scare wondered how he was surviving the heat, until I saw him swipe his brow with a sweaty hand.
Standing in front of Lorelia and I, blocking our paths. A very strange sight indeed.
"Hello," he whispered, kneeling to Lorelia's level, smiling gently. She backed up, then rushed forward again. I'd never seen her so enthusiastic to meet a person before. It was achingly beautiful.
"Can you say hello?" he breathed, grasping her hand tenderly. She smiled, but nothing issued from her mouth.
"She doesn't ever speak - " I began, hating the relay of this information.
"Hello."
My mouth dropped wide open. Lorelia's lips were strangely parted, and I swore I'd imagined the soft words that had been emitted from her mouth, gentle as bird wings. The boy raised his eyebrow, and smiled at her broadly. She returned the grin, as did I. Diverting his stare to me, he stood once more, and extended a hand.
"Hi, I'm Nick," he said, still smiling. "Nick Jonas."
My heart pounded in my chest.
"Of the Jonas Brothers?" He looked surprised, but nodded.
"Yeah."
"My name is Swaeri, and this is Lorelia - but I suppose she could've told you that herself," I mentioned casually, and he began walking, as I rushed up to stay in line with him.
"Why didn't she talk, or was that a ploy to get her to speak?" he said, smiling even wider. I giggled.
"Well, its a long story. I'd hate to bore you," I teased, but a tinge of seriousness made it's way out of my mouth. He stopped, then started walking again.
"I have time."
"Really? The famous rockstar has time?" I said, laughing. He nodded.
"Sometimes."
He sounded heartbreakingly serious.
"Well, Lorelia, she's had a complicated life. She has been in this townshend for a few years, like me. We both - we both have AIDs. We both lost our parents. And we both live everyday on the edge, I guess you could say. She's never spoken before, because - I think it's because her parents, they left her here, alone. They didn't want her, Nick. They didn't want the responsibiliy, yet they gave birth to her. They dumped her here, and she's sitting in this dirty place, everyday. Trying to survive, when she can't even express herself," Tears were rolling down my cheeks, "And trying to be someone. But we can't. We're branded like cattle here, by the numbers, us AIDs victims. Thrown in a stereotypical category because of a disease we were born with. And I'm tired of it! I'm tired of sitting here, waiting. Trying to find out why this happened to me. And working to understand how some people, like you, get greatness thrust upon you, and some people, like me, get hatred thrown on top of us?" My breathing was short and shallow, rattling every bone within my fragile body.
His eyes focused, a fire glowing beneath them.
"Thrust upon me? Never. I worked for this, Swaeri."
"I know - I'm sorry, it just came out -"
"It's okay, I promise you."
"How do you know? My life has never once been okay."
He brushed something that oddly reminded me of tears away.
"Do you think it's because you think that your life isn't okay? Because you know your not going anywhere? Do you really think your not going anywhere?"
I nodded, and he sighed.
"Thats why. You gotta believe in yourself - "
"How do I believe, when there is nothing to believe in?"
"You find something to believe in. I'm looking at a beautiful girl right now, who can be someone. She's just gotta break out of this - this mold she keeps classifying herself in. Why haven't you ever once left this city? Its quite easy to make it to the big town, where jobs are available - "
I felt my eyes brimming with tears.
"I," I began, sobbing quietly, "can't face them - "
"Who?" His voice was sharp, puncturing.
"If you saw me, what makes you want to hire me? Talk to me? What would drive you to go out of your way and speak to me? Nothing. I'm not special. Neither is Lorelia. We're living, but we're dead."
Silence.
"I see you."
I laughed sarcastically, shaking my head deliriously. "Isn't that nice to know."
"No, I mean - I see who you are. Your some girl who is afraid of what people think of her, to the extent that she doesn't even realize I, a famous American rockstar, came out of the blue to talk to her."
I stopped shaking my head, and stared.
"Why?" I whispered, and he too turned to focus on my deep brown eyes, tinged with red from those sleepless nights.
"Because," he said softly, taking a hand and caressing my cheek, rough from the constant blowing of sand, "I know too well that things can get you down quicker than they can help you up."
I leaned against him, and he hugged me, embracing each and every flaw. Lorelia sat on the ground, playing with the loose, flying clay.
"Nick!" she squealed, and he laughed, a tinkling, beautiful sound. I smiled as broadly as possible as she ran up to him, and he enveloped her with a sweet hug.
"Swaeri," he called, getting up off the ground, "will you go to my concert, tomorrow?"
I sucked in a breath, feeling my cheeks redden. "I could never pay for - "
"I'm not asking you to. Here -" he pulled out a gold and white ticket, and I grasped it tightly, in awe. "Take this to the convention center tomorrow, and you and Lorelia will be able to get in. She's under 8 I assume, which means she gets in free."
I nodded, and he pulled me into a tight hug. A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Your gonna be fine," he muttered into my ear, and then he left, strolling back to his fancy hotel.
Nick's POV
I threw the mic stand back at Joe, after he had dangerously chucked it at me after I had told him I wanted to change the set list briefly and add one song I'd written.
"What? We don't know the music! No one even knows the song, how do you even know it sounds good - "
"Trust me, okay? I wrote it last night, for someone special who's is coming -"
"Don't tell me you met a girl down here, it's only been two days, Nick."
"Whatever. I won't tell you, then. Just please, please. It's a short song. I promise you."
Joe and Kevin exchanged concise glances, before staring at my pleading face, entreating them to accept my proposal.
"Fine," they said simultaneously, stalking off in opposite directions. I grinned, settling myself at the piano on the edge of the stage. The unbelievable sun was beating down on the pearlized keys, making each black one look even more contrasting and exquizitely beautiful in the decorative dance the rays of light played on the surface.
She'd never forget this night.
Swaeri's POV
I woke up again, head spinning from a ruthless night of envisioning Nick, Nick kissing me, Nick singing to me -
Lorelia. Where was she?
"Lorelia?" I called, standing urgently and perusing the countryside for her. No answer, no sound of tiny footsteps parading towards me.
"Lorelia -"
Stop. Stop. Stop.
No. No. No.
I bent over the tall green grass, wincing when I saw what lay there.
Lorelia, curled into a ball, appearing to be sleeping. I willed myself that it was true.
"Lorelia, wake up, sweet," I cooed, prodding her gently in the side. No movement, no swatting. I leaned my head close to her heart, yearning to hear a beating, alive pulse -
No. No.
This can't be happening. God, save me.
Poke her again, make her giggle. Hear that high-pitched sound, you'd only just grown to love, to hear.
Nothing.
Sing to her, let her know you mean business. She loved your singing, she would sit in your lap and listen for hours.
Nothing.
Call to her again, she loves you. She can't be -
Nothing.
A fat tear rolled down my cheek, dropping on her own. She didn't stir, didn't arouse. I leaned my head closer to her heart again, breathing shallower and shallower. She wasn't dead, this couldn't happen -
Nothing.
How come this was the only word left to describe my life?
Shuddering, I lay against her body, and fell asleep, crying and sobbing passionatley.
Nick's POV
I cruised through the tall grass yet again, trying to find any sign of the Swaeri. But I couldn't find her at all.
Sobs, thick and fast. Issuing from someone like water pouring from a spiggot.
"Swaeri," I whispered, stepping into view of the beautiful girl sitting beside a deeply rippling lake, vibrant blue in color.
"She's gone," she said loudly, staring at me, eyes full of tears, streaming down her dark face. I sat next to her, concerned.
"What are you talking about?"
She only looked up at me again, cheeks red and full.
"She's dead. Lorelia. She died, in her sleep. And I'm done!" she wailed, shaking uncontrollably. "I'm SICK, of this. I'm sick of losing everything. She's gone. She's never coming back. I'll never see her agian, never hear the little voice you got out of her. I'll never see those cute dimples she had whenever she smiled. I'll never have someone like her, again. She's dead, Nick. She's - I can't even believe, I just - she's dead," her voice had diminished from powerful and violent to soft and weak. Her face crumpled again, and she buried her head in her hands.
I rubbed her back, encasing her in a supremely tight embrace. "I'm sorry," I murmered, and she sagged against me, sobbing harder. "I'm so, so sorry."
She pulled away, eyes red as cherries.
"I'm going to your concert tonight," she choked, "Because Lorelia would've wanted me to go."
I nodded, respecting her wish. "Thank you."
"Nick - I, I can't thank you enough, for what you've done."
"What did I do?"
"You - you saved her. You made her speak. She'd never spoken, for anyone. She loved you. I know she did. And I think," she lowered her gaze to my hand, "I think I do too. After everything. She approved of you, she ran to you, she believed in you, I could feel it. She squealed, laughed, played, ran with you. She became someone, in those first few minutes. She went from being a statue, to being real. Nick, she became someone mroe than a doll, just waiting to get picked off the shelves. All because of you."
I blushed, and hugged her again. "Thank you, Swaeri, I've gotta go -" I pulled away, turning on my heel slowly. "I'll see you tonight."
"Yes, you will," she called back, also turning.
FOUR HOURS LATER, Swaeri's POV
I approached the convention center, which was swarming with girls and cars. Fighting the sidelong traffic, I made it to entrance, gathering stares from many better-dressed attendees. Tears starting to flow again, I gulped and made my way towards the section my seats were in.
Looking at my ticket for the first time, I let my mouth fully drop when I read, and re-read, the seat assignment - Section 1, Row A.
My heart literally could've stopped beating. Front row.
Sitting down in my seat, the show was a whirl. Nick's aerials caught my off guard, bracing and making me smile with uncanny joy. Joe's microphone tricks jolted my fantasies, indulging my eyes that had been used to darkness for so long. Kevin's bold dancing made me giggle and want to stand up and swing my arms, which I wholeheartedly did. The lights, the sounds, the screams - they all attributed to a feeling of wholeness, being complete, being a family. I felt energy dancing between every person, feeding on the fire that twirled within our hearts, seeping into the floor and elevating us all, making each person feel light as air in a room so stagnant and still.
Then, Nick stood, pulling the microphone to his perfectly shaped lips closely. I stood, craning my neck to hear.
"We're about to slow it down, a little." The crowd echoed back with screams unnaturally high.
"I wrote a song, yesterday. But then I realized today, that it wasn't worth it to sing that one." I heard wails issue from wall to wall, enveloping me in sadness.
"But I came up with a new one, just a few hours ago. I got inspired to write it, because something happened that will change my life forever. Have you ever met someone, and they changed you? They just inspired you, and yet they themselves needed inspiration? Were they lonely, depressed, and hating every single second they thought they were wasting while living? I did. And I can't believe how wonderful she really is. There are so many people today, and chances today, where you can feel like no one cares, and no one wants to know you. When everyone is lost, and your alone, and you have nothing left to remember, to live for. But everything is there, waiting for you to take advantage of it. If you can't see it, your not gonna reach it. If you can't touch it, you might as well go running, and pray with all your might you'll come in reaching distance. And you will, because you believed. I've been hit today with a rock I never saw coming, and I'm devastated. But I know that she's here with us, among us, right now, talking. Speaking. Remembering. Knowing that I dedicate this next song to her, because she was so young, yet she overcame a fear she'd been born with. Life isn't planned, isn't sketched. It's not just handed to you, and you have to grab it, look for it. By searching, you can grasp it, tighter than life, and hold on to it. And never, ever let it go. Thank everyone you meet, because they influence you. And never forget. We're all one, a family. So listen to this song, and if a girl by the name of Swaeri would like to come up on the stage here - "
I stood, mouth dropped, in awe. Millions of screams raged at me, and I felt the energy course through me as tears from his speech swarmed down my face, an endless river. I walked up the stairs slowly, in a daze, and sat right where he indicated - next to him, on the piano.
"This song, it's for you. It's for me. It's for everyone in this room, breathing this same air. We're all about to realize, any one of us can achieve a victory."
He began playing the beautiful piano, striking each key with perfect precision, nailing each note sharp and punctual. The ballad soothed my aching, desperatley trying to mend heart.
"She's gone all these days,
Never promised a thing
Always hiding in the shade.
Voice clenched within,
Wishing all her memories would fade,
And it's getting rough, she thinks.
But when your locked inside this horror, you can't see,
You forget about your life, and what it means......
But she broke through,
But she stayed strong,
She proved that in a world alone, she could have it all, and now
She came out on top
She finally found a victory,
And then it was over, or so everyone else believed
But thats not true
'Cause a piece of her, lives inside of me and you.....
You say you can't hear her,
Are you really listening?
You say you can't see her,
Are you truly seeking?
She's a part of me, a part of you,
An underdog soul not too far from her goal.
And when your locked inside this horror, you can't see,
You forget about your life, and what it means.......
But you broke through,
But you stayed strong,
You proved that in a world alone, you could have it all, and now
You came out on top
You finally found a victory,
And then it was over, or so everyone else believed
But thats not true
'Cause a piece of you, lives inside of her and me......
We're a sunset, colors all combined
We're a quartet, voices intertwined
But we'll never forget,
No, we'll never regret, this........
But we broke through,
But we stayed strong,
We proved that in a world alone, we could have it all, and now
We came out on top
We finally found a victory,
And then it was over, or so everyone else believed
But thats not true
'Cause a piece of us, lives inside of everyone,
Because we're learning, making mistakes
No one can judge us, we've got power beyond compare
We've got a life where we can dream, love, and we can care
So don't you dare waste it, we haven't got a minute left to spare.....
She finally found a victory,
And then it was over, or so everyone else believed
But thats not true
'Cause a piece of her, lives inside of me and you....."
I felt the tears running down my face, as his voice hit every note, and I could hear the crowd singing, a gentle melody soothing and making me believe.
"Thank you," I whispered, and he nodded back, tears falling on his piano from his own eyes, and I looked to the ceiling, searching.
I hear you, Lorelia, I whispered. I really, really hear you.
NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
I made a signature, to promote this fanfic. If anyone wants to use it, to just bring people to read this, or something, here:
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