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| Methods of Perception [a five-shot] PART TWO POSTED (7/13) |
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So, this is a plot bunny that came and viciously attacked me the other night. :) I liked it, so I'mma go with it. It's a five shot that follows the five senses. However, and not quite everyone is aware of this, there are actually more than five senses. There are about eleven. And while I doubt I will end up writing a part for all eleven, there is a slight chance that this will turn into more than five parts. I make no promises, but I did have a few ideas on how I could work with some of the other sentences. Anyway, the general idea here is that each part will appeal to a certain sense. I hope I achieved that satisfactorily. :)
Sight
The first time he saw her, it was only an instance. in his peripheral vision. A girl with a smile as bright as August stars. The moon shone down, a soft silver glow blanketing them comfortably enough in darkness with a small glimmer of light. Her delicate, curvy figure was in the shadows, and he didn’t notice her until she turned to face his direction. Her eyes sparkled with a certain mystery, je nous sais quoi. She didn’t notice him standing there. She stood fully clothed in black as a crewmember, speaking with her colleague. That’s when it happened. She smiled. She smiled and the brilliance of her beaming face exuded an unspeakable joy.
All he had to do was blink, and the magnificent vision was gone, as though it had only been an optical illusion, his eyes playing tricks on him with his lack of sleep. She had vanished. Ten minutes later, he was on stage showered in blinding stage lights looking out at a vast sea of figures, never a definite face. Yet, he tried to envision her amongst the crowd. He tried to imagine her at the front of the crowd, her face cheering on him and his brothers., eyes sparkling just as they had minutes ago.
He didn’t expect to catch a glimpse of her below the stage. She was there under the stray beam of light that ran off the stage from one of the spotlights, helping with crowd control at the large state fair stage. She wasn’t wearing the vivid smile, but her eyes still shimmered. This girl looked up to the stage, and he gave his most charming smile and an almost exaggerated wink. She looked surprised, and then a light pink began to wash over her cheeks. She looked like some sort of Italian painting or a Grecian goddess, a work of art to be sure. None of the screaming fans, desperate for attention, seemed to hold a candle to this girl who could have faded into the ocean of followers the band had acquired if she so pleased, but standing facing the stampede, she was stunning as anything in his eyes.
All night, his brothers had given him looks of concern. He was often in a faraway dreamland, but tonight, he was in a trance like never before as his eyes followed a single figure. They couldn’t see what he saw, but as the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He was quite spellbound by this young woman. It was the look in his eyes that gave him away.
He had closed his eyes, taking a swig of his water bottle, and when he was done, she was gone again. This wonderful mirage enraptured him. His eyes scanned for the now almost familiar gorgeous figure in black. Sweat started to drip into his eyes, and everything started to blur. Wiping his eyes, he gave up his search. He kept his eye on the end of the show to tell his brothers about her. She was this angelic apparition that haunted his mind. It was as if he could still see her smiling up at him. He wanted to believe that that smile had been for him.
As the show finished, he began to believe that the sweat or such in his eyes were now becoming tears forming. Why was he crying? He hadn’t seen her again. No, they couldn’t have been tears, for it is a rare sight to see a man cry. However, it was a lingering ideation that during “When You Look Me in the Eyes”, all he could think of was the pair of faultless blue irises that had twinkled under the wandering light from the stage.
He was drenched in perspiration. Kevin was handed a towel, and as he looked up to thank the helping hand, he couldn’t quite find the words. She was standing there, in plain sight once again. She hadn’t been a figment of his imagination or just visualization. She was very real and standing in front of him. He saw on her shirt, a small nametag that read in pretty script “Melissa”. Her name was Melissa. He was so engaged in staring at her that he had forgotten to watch where he was going. As a result, it was out of nowhere that he went from looking into her eyes to looking at the ground. Trying to find the source of his little spill, he spotted a tree root sticking up from out of the concrete sidewalk. Standing up, his once pristine white shirt was covered in dirt. He was still sweaty, and his countenance resembled that of a fish. She giggled.
“Well, aren’t you a sight to see.”
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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oh hello.
i couldn't sleep, so i come back and OH MAN.
you posted!
gahh, ren, your descriptions are beautiful, and i'm in awe. seriously. i'd say more, but i'd much rather bump this so others can see your amazingness.
wow.
just. wow.
i'm in awe.

Mah Girlies <3
Mellers, Renneh, Stephers, Crysters, Breezy, Corinnee, Meggers, Brittanyy |
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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That was fantastic.
I'm so speechless.
the way you describe everything is phenomanal.
<3
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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Yay! The bunny has been released. =]
Ok I am seriously thinking about quiting writing for good. There is no way my writing can even be compared to yours. Ugh. This was just so wonderfully descrpitive and so real. Mine is just CRAP compared to yours.
You better update this soon! =] Check out my FF
Jman and RealMe (Complete)
Check out Freerice.com |
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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Skenef,
Your writing is amazing
If you quit that would suckkkk
But Ren
This was awsomeeeeee
I <33 this
Sight
Awsome
XoxoSarah [March 8, 08] [March 9, 08] [Sep. 4, 08]
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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ok so pretty much i thought iw as going to have an amazing day because i woke up and read the new chapter in the list, but now i have this as well, i dont know what im going to do with myself.
the idea=perfect
the writing=beyond perfect
everything about this is perfect.
wow, i really am a broken record every time i comment your stories, but you never fail to amaze me.
well you know i love ya
<3
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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Can I just say.....
O_O
WOW! ADLFKHASDF! YOU PUT ME IN THIS! *screams* I flailed a lot on AIM, but I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND COHERENCY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
This is really so amazing. Like I can't even explain. The details are amazing, the plot awesome, and the whole fic is addicting. And I'm not just saying that cause you put me in it. All your stories are brilliant and so wonderfully written. And so unique! I think I owe those amazing plot bunnies a big THANK YOU. Cause this is ponalicious, and I am still freaking out over it. XD
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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Gahhhh----you all are SO amazing. Just...I can't believe it. I'm working on the next part right now. :)
<3 Ren <3
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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This needs a big hefty BUMP because Mel has somehow coerced me into working on it, even though that means this next chapter is going to be crud. XP
<3 Ren <3
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| Re: Methods of Perception [a five-shot] |
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Yesh, it's here. It sucks. But it's here.
Melissa’s laughter still rang in his ears. Melissa…he liked the name rolled off his tongue so easily. The name was sweet and charming, much as he expected her to be. He muttered the name under his breath repeatedly. Even the first time he had said it, it had sounded familiar on his tongue. It was her voice that brought him back.
“Are you alright? Do you need to lie down?’ He realized that he hadn’t said anything since he had gotten up. She probably thought he had a concussion or was just stupid.
They heard bouts of laughter from behind them. Joe—in true Joe fashion—was standing there and pointing at Kevin with sidesplitting laughter. He was absolutely in hooting with giddiness. The obnoxious laughter was getting on Kevin’s nerves. It wasn’t THAT funny.
Joe looked a little frightened when he heard Kevin’s low growl. Melissa didn’t seem to be as taken aback. She was trying to stifle another giggle. Kevin let out an exasperated sigh. The roar of the crowd still echoed in the back of his head, and he wasn’t in the mood to be aggravated. Melissa sweet voice asked gently, “Do you think you’re alright now?”
He could hear the exhaustion in his own voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you so much.”
She didn’t seem very satisfied with his answer, to a point where he heard a muffled hiccough of disbelief from the girl. Nevertheless, she smiled.
“It was nice to meet you, Kevin.” She smiled.
…. But he hadn’t told her his name.
Even so, he had become much more fond of his name the moment it came off her lips. Normally, he thought of his name being really quite average. When it was laced with those dulcet tones, he quite liked the way his name sounded.
He could hear the squeaking of her sneakers and she turned around and began to walk away.
There was now a symphony—or rather, cacophony, he believed—playing in his head. He could still hear the screaming girls that had left the amphitheater nearly an hour previously. He could hear the inharmonious oof he had let out when he hit the ground. He could hear Joe’s laughter, despite the fact that it had ended abruptly with his glare and feral growl. And now the sound of her sneakers on the pavement taunted him as she traveled farther off into the distance. She was getting smaller and smaller as she went in the other direction.
Her laughter replayed in his head. It rang in his head. It seemed to have cured his formerly pounding headache. But it still remained---playing on repeat in every corner of his mind.
It came to a screeching halt when he heard his own voice echoing out towards her,
“Wait!”
With that the rumbled symphony came to a stop. A silence filled his mind, and he wasn’t sure if it was one of satisfaction or one of anticipation. Could it be a combination of the two?
He could hear his own feet hitting the asphalt as he ran after her.
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