Welllllllll this was supposed to be up last night, till Boy dilemma 101 popped up. However, here it is =]. I know it's short but I've actually got the time to update now so hopefully more updates soon.
Comments make me smile =]
--Lauren
You Save Me
Chapter 10
She opened the cabinet as quickly and quietly as was possible before bolting back to her room and collapsing onto her bed, a torrent of tears falling into her pillow as bit by bit she broke. In the dark no one would ask questions and during the day she’d still be able to be the smiling Kerralyn that her friends knew, that her parents expected her to be.
The next three days passed in similar fashion. Waking up with tearstains on her cheeks and pillows alike, struggling to pay attention in school, always bent over a notebook and alienating herself from conversation with friends. Trying to be the perfect Kerralyn that her parents wanted her to be. Staying up till all hours waiting for Joe to get on, only to ignore his pleas to talk and let her heart break shatter each night.
The fourth day had been particularly hard. She had zoned out enough in chemistry to realize that she had no idea what she was doing on an upcoming test, and had just barely managed to scrap her grades back to Bs. It was good, but not good enough for her perfectionist parents, whom she swore wanted a clone to her older sister. She fought to not snap and lash out at her friends all day. Upon getting home, she curled up next to her keyboard and stared at the unfinished song in front of her. As much as the song reminded her of him she wanted to finish it, and kept playing until her mother called her down for dinner.
Dinner, kitchen clean up, pretend to study, shower – it was all a routine that she would have gladly broken to keep playing. It stopped her heart from shattering further at the mere thought that he’d want to talk to her some more. It didn’t matter that he already had tried, several times, to continue to talk to her. She didn’t want to attach herself to something that would only disappear again. A heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces could only mend itself so far. Cutting herself off from speaking to him was the only thing she could do.
Yet later that night she could only stop and stare as the clock changed mechanically. She glanced at the instant message box that popped onto her screen at precisely 1:40 AM.
DJ-Danger815: Kerralyn?
DJ-Danger815: Are you there?
She didn’t know what possessed her to answer the IM, but she did anyway.
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: Yes. I’m here.
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: It’s shiny.
DJ-Danger815: How are – what’s shiny?
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: …
DJ-Danger815: Kerralyn…Musical Note…what’s shiny?
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: -twirls razor between her fingers-
DJ-Danger815: Kerr…Kerralyn, what’s going on?
DJ-Danger815: What’s going on, Musical Note?
DJ-Danger815: Please, just talk to me, tell me what’s going on.
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: It’s shiny.
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: -rests it in the palm of her hand-
All the color drained from Joe’s face as the tour bus weaved along the highway. The moon and stars were clearly visible out the window that his head rested upon. His eyes snapped back to the previous conversations of her thanking him and of the lyrics that she had so reluctantly sent. It began to click – he had saved her all right. From herself.
DJ-Danger815: Kerralyn…come on Kerr, just talk to me.
DJ-Danger815: Vent, please something, anything.
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: -hovers with the razor over her arm-
DJ-Danger815: Kerralyn…STOP IT!
DJ-Danger815: You’re scaring me, please stop, just talk to me.
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: You’re scared of ME? Pathetic, Massachusetts girl you’ve never met.
DJ-Danger815: Not of you.
DJ-Danger815: Of what you’re doing, yes
DJ-Danger815: But never of you, Kerralyn, never of you.
DJ-Danger815: I just want to help you, Musical Note
DJ-Danger815: That’s all I want to do
DJ-Danger815: Let me help you Kerralyn
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: -whispers as the razor nearly falls from her fingers- I can’t, Joe.
xxAngelicMusicalNotexx: I can’t.
