These four walls. The whisper to me. They know a secret I knew they would not keep.
Losing. I was use to it. I'd lost most things in the course of the last year. A father. A mother. A boy I may or may not love. I probably should've been used to them being gone, but I kept finding myself pretending that I could just fall back into old routines. Like I could wake up every morning and see the shining faces of my family. My father and brother woofing down the breakfast that my mom had so skillfully prepared. I expected to meet Joe at my door, and walk until we'd reached the secret destination.
Now I stood in front a a large chain link fence that barricaded the contruction and demolition taking place on the other side of it. I watched intently as the heartless men tore down the only constant -besides my brother- in my life. My treehouse. Our treehouse. A crane collected the remnants and lowered it into the back of a dump truck. I turned around, and leaned against the fence, sliding down until my butt hit the concrete. My life had hit an all time low, Not that I didn't enjoy the company of my brother. He had just moved on so much faster than me. He was already able to be with friends. He wasn't relying on rundown childhood memories to cheer him up.
"Excuse me miss?" A voice rung into my thoughts. I looked up to stare the burly man down. D.amn contruction workers. "This is a hard hat area, You need to keep five feet bewteen you and the fence." I screwed up my face bitterly, and got up, stomping off. I felt furious. I knew it wasn't the construction workers fault. They were just following orders. But what was to become of my beautiful getaway? Would it be some half-bit cabaret that would close down in weeks? Another snobby subdivision? There was an abundance of those!
I walked myself home. My residence was of course abandoned. Brian had gone fishing with some buddies. I ran immediately up to my room and flipped on my stereo. "No One's Gonna Love You" by Band of Horses was thumping in the speakers. I sang along, while I flipped through the text messages I'd missed while I was out. Only one truly caught my eye. An unidentified number.
"Where are you?"
I clicked a few keys, not really too concerned about who it was. If someone seriously wanted to find me, here would be the first place to look.
"Where I always am."
They didn't respond to me and I didn't mind. I didn't want to be found. I wanted to slip away. Maybe sleep for a couple hours. I wanted to sleep through the Summer, uninterrupted. Rehabilitate from all this madness. When it rained, I wanted to hide under the covers, and try to overcome my depression. Even though that seemed almost impossible, I figured I'd grow out of it. My mood would eventually sway. I drited off. Dreaming suprisingly. Not a single nightmare. No visions of my brother cradling my mother in his arms. No visions of Joe's tour bus driving away. Nothing. Just sweet dreams. My brother and I moving on. Skipping town together. Maybe even going to Vegas.
My phone buzzed from the inside of my fist. I'd been clutching it.
"I'm here."
I ignored it. I didn't care if the were halfway to Albaquerque by now. I wasn't answering the door for anybody. I wasn't going to pull myself out of my comfort zone and "grace" them with my prescence. Truth is, I wasn't looking very graceful. I heard the harsh, loud, and obnoxious knocks coming from downstairs. I pulled my comforter over my head, as if it could hide me. I let them continue their foolish and senseless knocking. The thuds stopped, and I sighed victoriously. Mission accomplished.
I shut my eyes again, and tried to induce some more sleep. No such luck. I just sat there, blankets still pulled over head. The weight shifted on the bed, signifying that someone had laid down next to me. "Brian?" I asked, a little worried that I had in fact fell asleep and was now having a nightmare. Someone haunting me. "No" The mellow voice chimed, mocking me a little. I pushed the blankets off of me. My eyes watered.
I was face to face with the sweetest dream imagineable.
-----