It took a while, but here it is! let me know what you think please. :D
i'm very proud, if I do say so myself.
"If I should die before I wake
It's cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh."
"Please don't leave me," I mumbled, grasping his hand as tight as I could. "Nick, please." He looked at me silently for a moment, then pulled me close to his chest. I buried my head in his shoulder, my tears beginning to soak his shirt. We were standing outside his bus, ready to take his all the across the country, and leave me here alone.
"I have to," he whispered into my hair, then he looked at me. I saw the seriousness of his gaze. I shook my head violently and tried to pull him closer.
"No you don't," I whimpered, on the verge of hysteria. "You don't have to go, please just stay with me." An unexplanable emotion of sorrow swam strongly in his brown eyes before he pressed his lips to my forehead.
"Bye Tay." His lips lingered there and I shivered from his warm breath. He held me for one last moment and I could feel his chest rise and fall slowly. Then he was gone. My warmth and protection. Gone. He walked towards the bus, only turning slightly to glimpse back at my tear-streaked face. Then he left. The bus pulled away, leaving me standing on his driveway. I watched it make its way down the street, then turn to where I couldn't see it anymore. Couldn't see him anymore. I couldn't believe that he was actually gone, the my life support just left me. I collapsed to the ground in a wreck of sobs, my tears sliding down the cement. My chest ached from the loss. Not that my heart was gone, no, it was still there. It was just slowly dying without the sustenance it needed to keep working, my air. I wrapped my arms around myself tightly and, with no luck, tried to breathe.
"I'm here alone, didn't want to leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I could make you understand."
As soon as I got on the bus I lied in my bunk and tried my very best to stay composed. She had no idea how hard it was for me. She was sitting there, begging me to stay, and all I'd wanted to do was lift her in my arms and run, far away from everything else. I would have in a second, but I couldn't. I couldn't let my brothers down, I had responsibilities, so that meant I had to be the strong one. I had to fight my overpowering urge to tell her that I would never leave and always stay by her side. I had to walk away from her crying, desperate figure, leave her standing alone. That is why I went straight to my bunk. I couldn't watch her cry as I left. It would have been too much, I would've run back and held her forever. I wouldn't have left. And since I had to, I couldn't watch.
As I the bus began to pull away, I felt a tug at my chest, a tangible pain. And as we drove farther away, the pull only got stronger. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I had one new message...from her. 'Come back.' I heard a soft cry, only to realized a moment later that it had come from me. One tear escaped and slide silently down my cheek. 'I can't.' I replied to her, hoping she would understand. She had to. She knew I could come back if I could....didn't she?
"But how do you expect me,
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you,
Its so hard for me to breathe.
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air.
Can't live, can't breathe with no air.
That's how I feel when I know you ain't there.
There's no air, no air.
Got me out here in the water so deep.
Tell me how you gon' be without me.
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe.
Its no air, no air."
Nick quietly tiptoed past a sleeping Joe and made his way to the balcony connected to the hotel room. He sighed, slipping into one of the chairs. Tonight was not the best night for him. At the concert that night they were playing "Sorry" and he got lost in a daydream of Tayler. He lied. He had promised her he'd never leave. Then what does he do? Just up and hops on a bus. No matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't shake the feeling that she didn't believe that he needed her. She was pulling away, and he was worried. He could barely function without her there, and he knew he couldn't spend much longer alone. When Joe finished the second chorus, Nick didn't start the bridge. He had completely forgotten where he was or what he was doing. He shook his head, trying to forget the night. He looked at his watch and sighed, it was 3 or 4 in the morning where she was, but he needed to hear her voice badly. Without thinking her called, hoping to at least here her voicemail recording.
"Hello?" a tired voice answered. His heart was immediately in his throat.
"Um, hey Tayler, it's Nick.: Tay nearly fell off her bed, She self-conciously ran her hand through her hair, thinking she needed to look nice. Oh the things only his voice did to her. She felt her heart begin to race, sure he could hear it on the phone.
"Nick," she breathed, "What's wrong?" He melted into a puddle at the sound of his name through her lips and was immediately taken by her.
"Nothing's wrong, just thinking about you." Tayler felt herself blush in spite of herself.
"Really?" she questioned. Nick was shocked by her doubtful tone.
"Yes...really." he said. "Is that really so hard to believe?" 'He's angry.' she thought, sighing.
"It's just, you didn't seem that sad to go when we said goodbye." she stated sadly, waiting for some sort of response. He just sat there in silence, he couldn't believe it. She really didn't know, and it was time to set the record straight.
"I....Tay..." he started, stating his feelings as blatantly as he could. "I can't breathe, Tay. Every time your face, you beautiful face, is in my mind, which is every minute of every day, it feels like I'm drowning. I need you with me, and the only reason I left with so little emotion was because I knew if I let myself show you just how much pain I was going through, I wouldn't have left. I would have taken you in my arms and run, holding you forever. I had to leave, no matter how much of my heart stayed with you." Now it was Tay who stayed silent. Her breath hitched and the tears spilled over.
"It's so hard Nick," she whispered. He wanted more than anything to wipe away the tears he heard her crying.
"I know babe, I know." he tolde her comfortingly. "I can't take it either." She swallowed and took a leap.
"Nick, I....I love you." A smile broke across is sorrowed face.
"I love you Tayler." he replied, emotion pouring from his every word. She smiled, relieved, and they both hng up, perfectly content. But as they both lay down to sleep, the aches inside them only grew larger, the distance farther, as the emptiness and cold of being alone caught up with them. How long could it last?
"I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to flow to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real."
There she was, my beautiful Tayler. 'Go!' I urged myself, but my feet stayed frozen. She was right there, 20 feet away, all I had to do was walk a few steps and seh would be here in my arms. She was eating lunch with her friends, totally oblivious to me standing right across the street staring at her. Kevin had offered to drive me to her house after we got back, but insisted he get a Starbucks first. Thank God he did. Seeing her now wasn't enough, I needed to feel her warmth in my arms, the soft hair on my cheek. There wasn't anyhting holding me back anymore as I ran across the street.
"Tay!" I yelled. She looked up, confused, but when her eyes settled on me her face filled with happiness. I reached the table and threw my arms around her waist, twirling her around. "I missed you." I whispered into her ear. She looked at me, a confused look clouding her features. I couldn't believe it, she still thought I didn't care. I kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids. "Please believe me." I whispered into her cheek. "I love you." She didn't stop me as I leaned forward and pressed my lips softly to hers. I sighed with relief as I felt her smile against my lips and her arms twined around my neck, pulling me closer.
"I missed you too." she mumbled into my chest. I kissed the top of her head and held onto her as tight as I could.
"But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care."
"Tay, come one, just come to lunch!" My friend, Lauren, begged. "We haven't seen you in forever." I sighed. They hadn't seen me because I was hiding. I'd taken to locking myself in my room, clutching my arms arounf myself in hopes of keeping from falling completely apart. He was gone, and as much as he said he cared, I didn't believe him. But I was tired of this. I was ready to go out and be with people again. I was still hurting, I wouldn't be whole until he was with me, but I was ready to try and be me again.
"Alright, I'll be there in 15 minutes." I told her, hanging up the phone. I put on a dress and fixed my hair, wanting to look pretty for the first time in a long time. When I got to the restaurant it was so easy for me to fit back with my friends, to laugh like nothing was wrong, but that pain was still ever so present in my chest. Then I heard my name being called. I turned to see and there he was, running towards me. A smile I couldn't stop if I wanted to spread to my face. Was it really him? I stood and her was there, scooping my in his strong arms and pulling me close.
"I missed you," he said, and I became confused. Did he? He saw my hesitation and placed sweet kisses all over my face, sending shivers throughout my body. "I love you." he whispered, his voice ragged. The look of pure emotion in those eyes let me know finally how much he meant it, and I surrendered to his captivating kiss, finally breathing for the first time.
"Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air.
Can't live, can't breathe with no air.
That's how I feel when I know you ain't there.
There's no air, no air..."
TAAAAAAAAA DAAAAAAAAAA! :D
-J
