Sorry

  I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and started to write down a letter to her. I can't expect her to take me back, or to take my apology, but I do want her to know how sorry I am and how much I love her still.

  Dear Brittany,
  I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'm truly, utterly, sincerely,  and ungratefully sorry. I put you through all of that pain and I just can't stand knowing what I did to you. It hurts me more and more each day knowing that I promised all of those things to you and was too busy to keep them.
  I promised you that I'd call you every night, but that never happened. I called you once a week. If I could take that promise back, I would, just so I wouldn't hurt you. I promised that I'd meet you in our spot, and that was taken away. I made her cry yourself to sleep every night, and that made me feel so bad. I was about to quit the band just to be with you, but that would hurt my brothers and I just couldn't do that to them. I thought about stopping touring, but that would hurt fans and my brothers, and maybe even you.
  I couldn't take hurting you anymore, so I broke-up with you. It took so much to do that, and now it takes even more to say sorry. I'm not trying to get you to take me back, not after all of the pain I've caused you. I'm not trying to get you to say it's all fine. But what I am trying to do is to get you to see how much I love you and how sorry I truly am.
  As you can see, I'm crying while writing this. This is probably the first time I've broken down in front of Joe. He's sitting across from me right now and hoping for me to stop crying. Mom has even cried. Only because she hates to see her child hurting, and she truly cares about you, and the pain I put you through brakes her heart even more. But not more than mine.
  I've built up all of the strength to say sorry and to tell you how much I truly love you. I don't expect you to build p the strength to say its okay, but I do want you to try. . . for me.
  I love you and I'm sorry always,
  Kevin Jonas

  I sealed the letter and walked out of my bedroom. I grabbed my jacket and walked over to Brittany's house. This was one of the very few times I could go to her house, seeing as we were not on tour.
  I slipped the envelope through the slot and rang the door bell. I ran away from the house and started to walk along the sidewalk, not caring if she answered the door and saw me.

*Brittany's Point Of View*

  The door bell rang and I answered the door. I saw a man walking along the sidewalk, but didn't think anything of it. He was probably a stranger walking by. I closed the door and saw I had a letter on the floor. "To Brittany," it  read.
  I picked it up and ran upstairs to my room. I grabbed my letter opener and slowly opened my mail. I pulled the tear-stained piece of paper out and immediately knew who it was from. Kevin, I thought.
  I read the letter and started to cry. While I was reading it, I noticed my bedroom door was open and ran over to close it. After shutting and locking my door, I continued reading it, only to break me down in a fit of tears.
  When I was finished reading it, I grabbed a pen and some paper and began to write a reply.
  Dear Kevin,
  I know you don't expect me to, but I accept your apology. It does take a lot of strength to say all of that and a lot of strength to forgive you. I know what you put me through was painful, and I'll never forget it, but I truly miss you. I just wish that you were there for the one night I needed you the most.
  You came the day before my father died and it was great hanging out with you. You finally met my dad and he approved of you. He said you were a great guy and that you'd take good care of me. He was half right. You are a great guy, Kevin, but you couldn't take care of me. I know you were too busy, but when I needed you the very most, you weren't there.
  When I heard the news, I immediately called you, so I could feel better. Unfortunately, you didn't answer. I left you a voice message and waited for you to call me back later that night. I didn't care when you called, it could have been at 2AM and I wouldn't have cared. But you never called me back. I found you a week later at the store and you said you had to talk to me. You broke-up with me and I felt I had no reason to live. I mean, why should I have? I lost my mother when I was only 6, and I lost my father a week before you broke-up with me, and then I lose you, what else of a reason do I have to live? Well, I had to, because of my sister. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here. You see, because my only parent had passed, she needed someone to take care of her, which was me.
  She's now 17 and I'm still taking care of her. It's been a year since my father died and I'm doing okay. But when you left me, after my parents already had, I shut myself out from the rest of the world. I would only talk my sister, not even making eye contact with her.
  I'm very glad you said you're sorry and I'd love to take you back if you'll take me back. And even if we don't get back together, I'd love to be your friend and see you again sometime. You know, catch up. I truly miss you and my sister sure does miss Joe. Tell Joe she'd love to him again and hang out, because they were great friends.
  Love always,
Brittany

  I folded it up and put it in an envelope. I opened my bedroom door and then walked down stairs. I walked outside and saw Kevin. He was the one walking by my house. He was sitting by the curb with his beautiful face rested on his knees. He obviously felt my presence, because he looked over at me with his teary, hazel eyes. I felt so bad for him. He got up and I ran towards him. I scooped him up in my arms and got a good look at him.
  I saw all of the pain I caused him. I could see it on his face. His eyes were droopy and he didn't get much sleep, I could tell. His face was covered in tears and pain. He looked so lifeless.

*Kevin's Point Of View*

  I shouldn't be here right now, I can't hurt her anymore. She's got her arms wrapped around my lifeless body and I'm just standing here, wishing I would have ran away from her. I'm sure I'm causing her pain by just being here.
  "I almost forgot," she said and handed me an envelope. "It's a reply to what you wrote. I was going to go over to your house and drop it off, but I saw you sitting there and I just had to give it to you in person. Kevin, I now see how much pain I've caused you, and I'm very sorry."
  "I-It's okay. Brittany, I sure hope that I'm not causing you anymore pain."
  "You kind of are, but I don't mind. I'm glad you're here now."
  "I love you," I blurted those words out.
  "K-Kevin, I-I've got to go. Bye."
  "Bye."

Broken hearts and last good byes
Restless nights but lullabies
Helps make this pain go away

I realized I let you down
Told you that I’d be around
I'm building up the strength just to say

  I watched her walk away. The way she moved, it did things to me. I walked away as well, opening the letter as I walked. I started crying as I read the letter.

I'm sorry
For breaking all the promises
That I wasn't around to keep
It's all me
This time is the last time I will
Ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way

  After reading it, I started to write down a reply.
  Dear Brittany,
  I truly don't deserve you. And to prove it, I'm going to let you go. It causes me pain to see you, and I'm sorry, but I'm not taking you back. It'll only be harder for both you and me if we get back together. I've told Joe that Mantha misses him and would like to catch up, he said it'd be great and that he'll meet her on Tuesday, March  17th, 2009, at the park. If she goes, he'll be very happy. He has something he needs to tell her as well.
  I love you always,
Kevin

  I put the letter in the envelope and sealed it. I can't cause either of us anymore pain, so I'm going to let her go. If she wants to be friends, than I'll write her as much as possible. I'd love to be her friend, but I just can't date her again, it's too much pain for the both of us.
  I unsealed it and wrote a P.S.

P.S: I love you with all of my heart and you know I'm only doing this for you. I'm not being selfish, I'm only trying not to put you through anything else painful. If you'd like to my friend, I'd appreciate that very much. I love you, Brittany. I always will.

  I folded it back up and resealed it. If this was the end of me and her, it was for the better and it was a good ending.

Filled with sorrow
Filled with pain
Knowing that I am to blame
For leaving your heart out in the rain
Now I know you're gonna walk away
And leave me with the price to pay
Before you go I wanted to say
Yeah!
That I'm sorry
For breaking all the promises
That I wasn't around to keep
It's all me
This time is the last time I will
Ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way

*Brittany's Point Of View*
  I got another letter and read it. It brought me to tears again, but this time, it wad different. I am going to end it all with Kevin, after all, it's for the best.
  Dear Kevin,
  Okay, I'm ending the whole thing with us. I'm going to leave you, Kevin, and just let you be.
 Sincerely,
Brittany

*Kevin's Point Of View*
  So, this is the end. Well, it was a good end, I guess.

I can't make it
A life on my own
But if you have to go
Than please girl
Just leave me alone
'Cause I don't wanna see
You and me goin' our separate way!
I'm beggin' you to stay
If it isn't too late

I'm sorry
For breaking all the promises
That I wasn't around to keep
It's all me
This time is the last time I will
Ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way
But you're already on
Your way

Together Again?

  Kevin set the letter down. How could this happen to me and her? he thought. He had thought they loved each other, and they were perfect for each other, but now that he's read this, he knows it's the end. He knows Brittany, and she would never give up on a goal of hers, even if the goal broke his heart.
  "I'm going to move on someday," Kevin said to himself, the tears spilling over again.
  "What do you mean?" asked Joe. Apparently he was in the room as well.
  "Brittany never wants to see me again, she said it's the end, and it's best if we don't date and if we're not friends. So, this is what    the end feels like? Well, it's a horrible feeling."
  "Kevin, it'll be okay. I know she can't stay away from you forever, Kevin, she loves you."
  "That's what I thought, but it was just a lie, she didn't love me."
  "Don't say that," Kevin heard from from behind his brother. It was Mantha, Britt's sister.
  "Let me talk to her alone, Joe," Kevin spoke.
  Joe left the room, leaving Kevin and Mantha alone.
  "Kevin, she truly loves you. I would know, I live with her. She still cries herself to sleep every night, because she hates knowing that she'll never be able to see you again."
  Kevin started to cry again, a fresh set of tears spilling over. "Then why did she end it all?"
  "Because she didn't want any more pain in her life from you, because she knows it hurts you more than her. She can't do that to you. She loves you more than anything, Kevin, more than life."
  "Bring her over here then, I need to see her."
  "No, Kevin, it'll put her through more pain, I can't do that to my sister. She looks lifeless enough already."
  He cried even more now, knowing he hurt her like this.

  Brittany couldn't stand it anymore, she had to see him again. She dialed his number, but didn't push send, just shut the phone. She wanted to call him, hear his voice, and tell him she loves him. She's written songs, poems, and stories about him.
  Just then, Brittany's phone rang that ring tone she knew so well, Kevin's. "Hello?" she answered.
  "It's so good to hear your voice again," his familiar voice spoke."I need to talk to you, in person."
  "No, give me a letter," she said, then hung up.
  She broke down in tears again, hearing his voice brought back all of the bad things that have happened. She had flash backs of the bad days everyday.
  "I approve of him, he'll take care of you, and he's a great boy."
  "Thank you, Daddy!" I hugged him.
  "Hah. You're welcome."
  Kevin walked in the room, and kissed me. Then he realized my dad was in the room, making us both blush. "Sorry, Sir."
  "It's fine. You're a great young man, and I know you'll take good care of my daughter, don't let me down, son."
  "I won't. I promise I'll always be there for her, and I'll always take care of her," Kevin promised.

  She rolled her eyes, he broke that promise, the biggest one. Then, she remembered the next day after that.
  I woke-up to Samantha screaming. "Be quiet!" I yelled.
  "Brittany! Brittany!"
  I got out of bed and ran to where she was. Whatever it was, she was crying, I could hear it in her voice.
  She was in Dad's bedroom, maybe she fell while Dad was at work, I thought.
  I opened the door and saw Dad laying lifeless in bed, and Mantha shaking him. "What's wrong with him, Brittany? He didn't. . die. . . did he?"
  I slid down against the door and broke down in tears. No, this can't be happening. I already lost my mom, not my dad, too!
  "Mantha, just go."
  She left the room, as I had ordered, and I pulled my cell phone out, dialing Kevin's number. "Come on, pick up," I said. After a moment, it went to his voice mail. I hung up and called again, only to get his voice mail again.
  "It's Brittany, your girlfriend," I said, sobbing. "I really need you right now, Kev. My Dad just passed on, and I need someone. I love you, Kevin. Goodbye."
  I then threw my phone across the room, frustrated with him. He always answers, what's with him?
  Then she remember a week after her father died. She was at the store, and then bumped into Kevin.
  I was buying some chips for Mantha, when I ran into someone. I could feel arms wrap around me, and I knew whose they were, and they were warm.
  I lifted my head up, and kissed his lips for a moment. Then pulled away before we made-out in the store. "Brittany? Can I talk to you?"
 "Of course."
  He grabbed my hand and then pulled over to the side. "Brittany, I've caused you too much pain, and I don't want to cause you anymore pain. I'm sorry, but this is the end of you and me."
  "Great! First my mom, then my dad, and now you!"
  "Brittany, I'm sorry. I just don't want to cause you anymore pain."
  "Maybe you should have thought of that before you dumped me!"
  "Calm down."
  "No! Go fu.ck yourself, Kevin!" I screamed, my tears spilling over.
  He started to reach out to me, but before he could wrap his arms around me, I dropped my basket of food and ran out of the store.
  If he was going to shatter my heart into a million pieces, then he could go do it with himself, I wouldn't care. He would NOT touch me if he were to rip my heart out of my chest and play with it. I HATE him! No, I take that back, I love him.
  Ugh, stupid mixed feelings. I hate this, not him. So, this is what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest? Well, it's not fun, I can tell ya that.
  Tears started to well up in her eyes again. She told him to go screw himself, and then he just forgot about it? Well, he did know her very well, so he probably knows that she was just angry. Hopefully.

  Kevin started to write another letter. Man, we always do this, he thought. It was true. But it was the only way they'd be able to talk    to each other without seeing all of the painful memories again, and almost breaking down in a fit of tears yet again.
  Dear Brittany,
  I'm sorry about having to talk to you. I just miss you insanely. I need you like the air I breathe, Brittany. And if you'd give me one more chance, I'd be the happiest man in the history of happy men (corny, I know, Britt. But you love corny). And I don't expect you to take me back, not at all, but I pray you will.
  I remember every little painful thing I've caused you, and it hurts me so badly. It feels like someone's making a deep cut in my heart, and twisting it around and around. I hate that feeling, and I hate to see you cry, or hear that I've caused you to cry.
  All I want is you back in my life, and if you'll let me in your life, I promise I'll never hurt you again. I can't take that pain again.
  I love you,
Kevin
  Kevin folded the letter, and put it in his pocket, ready to hand deliver it to her. If he couldn't give it to her in person, then she wouldn't get it at all. He was being stubborn, but had a good reason to be.

  Brittany heard a knock her bedroom door, and to her surprise it was Kevin. He engulfed her in a hug, and kissed her passionately, making her breathless. When she pulled away he said, "I'd love to give you this letter, but let's wait until next year. WIll you take me back?"
  "Do you promise that you'll never, ever shatter my heart again, Kevin Jonas?"
  "I, Paul Kevin Jonas II, here by swear that I will never, ever break your heart again."
  "Then, Paul, I guess you're not a single man anymore."
  Kevin grinned at what she said, and replied with, "And neither are you, love."
  "I love you," Brittany said.
  "I love you, too," Kevin replied, and then leaned in for another kiss.
  After a few moments, Brittany pulled away from him. "Wanna go tell everyone?"
  "Yes. But first. . ." Kevin reached into his back pocket and pulled out the letter, "Here."
  Brittany read the letter, tears fell down her cheeks, and she grabbed out a pen. "Writing a reply?" Kevin asked.
  She just nodded, and grabbed his hand, "What are you doing?" he asked.
  She didn't reply, just scribbled on his hand "I'll be yours. . . forever & always. . . & in eternity."
  Brittany watched him examine his hand, and he said, "It's the same for you," with a big grin on his face. She just kissed his cheek, and left the room, to call her bestie and her sister. He grabbed out his cell phone and dialed in Joe's number.

I'll be yours. . . forever & always. . & in eternity